Aim lower.
It’s that time of year again. Even in the midst of global unrest, many of us hear the siren song of a clean slate — a new year, a fresh perspective, and a feeling that this time will really be different. Whether it’s an overhaul of our kitchen pantry, our closet, our exercise habits, our bookshelves or some other target, the draw to start fresh is powerful.
Have you ever thought to yourself, “once the new year comes, it will all be different…I’ll get it right this time…things will be easier and better”? Given the paradox that all of life is a practice of starting over — and yet, there’s no practice run for life — it’s no wonder we are in constant search of “better.”
We’re so often disappointed by our efforts to make broad, sweeping changes in the name of “better.” It’s tempting to scale our efforts to match the size of the job: gargantuan, enormous, LIFE-SIZE. And this is where the hammer narrowly misses the nail head — we take on too much at once.
We also make the mistake of believing that crafting a perfect goal is the key to its achievement. “If only we can make SMART goals,” we think, “the end result is easy.”
While it does make sense for goals to be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-oriented — even the SMARTest goal in the world won’t get you there without doing the work.
Consider this: improving daily habits works a lot like compounding interest. It starts small and builds up over time. Doing anything (literally ANYthing!) just 1% better per week will give you a 52% improvement by the end of the year! Each decision on that singular topic is really tiny in the moment, but taken together over time they make a huge difference. At 52%, that’s a pretty good return, and 1% is an amount that feels manageable most of the time.
If your goal is something around getting in better physical shape, then a 100% type of goal is “I’ll do 100 pushups every day.” But a 1% goal is “I’ll start with ONE pushup each day and add on one daily pushup per week.” The 1% goal is more likely to cement your habit because it’s easier, and since it’s easier it’s more likely to be repeated. Repetition is one of the critical components of making habits stick.
What if your goal has more to do with attention and focus? Suppose you want to pull off (finally!) a big project that’s been looming in the background.
*Can you find the 1% by breaking tasks into smaller pieces?
*By noticing the resistance that comes up when you know it’s time to start?
*By understanding your natural inclination to put it off — and then working with that?
It’s also important to remember that the overall aim of your goal is far more important than the short-term results. Forgive yourself for slips, and stay on the path. Think of it this way: a millionaire spending more than she makes year after year is still on a negative trajectory — but someone earning minimum wage and managing to save just $5 a month consistently is still on a positive path. In the pushup example above, even one daily pushup over several days puts you on a better trajectory than starting with 100 a day and quitting after two days. Commit to the path, without beating yourself up about the occasional slip.
So in the coming new year and its constantly-shifting circumstances, aim lower. Aim for 1% consistently instead of 100% immediately. Give yourself (and others) grace for the inevitable slip and know that your path is still solid beneath you because every moment is a chance to try again.
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