Quantitative Levels of Apology
I have this compulsive habit of saying ‘sorry’ for every small thing even though it really isn’t a mistake — not replying quickly, hurting by being honest, just to make others happy, etc. I also have a compulsive habit of coming up with rules for unusual things. Naturally, I came up with “Quantitative Levels” for an apology over the years.
These are 4 quantitative levels of apology:
Levels 1, 2 and 3 are for friends. Level 4 is only for girlfriends, boyfriends, wives, and husbands.
Level 1
- Apologize Genuinely: You had a small misunderstanding with your friend. She/he is upset. A genuine apology involves saying, ‘I am sorry’ for doing that. Be responsible and show that you’ve learned. This is the most basic level.
- Cost: $0
Level 2
- Giving Chocolate: You were in the wrong or the thing turned into an argument and the other person got hurt. Buy chocolate or candy that the other person likes and give it to them personally if you could. This shows that the person is important and you regret what you did. Of course, apologize genuinely as well before and while giving the chocolate as well.
- Cost: under $5
Level 3
- Give a Treat: You fought with your friend, both of you cursed at each other and you feel very bad that it went that far. When things settle down and both of you apologized to each other, take the person to dinner or some other treat. You owe them that at least because they have put up with you and are still willing to talk with you after all that. Dinner need not be fancy.
- Apologize again in person and talk like best friends. If this can’t be done personally send them a gift with an apology letter. This is the highest level of apology among friends reserved only for best friends.
- Cost: $5-$15
Level 4
- A Special Date: Who hasn’t had a big fight with their loving ones for the silliest of reasons. Sometimes things get serious and we fight about things that are close to our chest. Both get hurt. In hindsight, it feels good that you fought because the issue gets resolved but it does damage to both the individuals and the other person more so than one can realize. It is time to take them to their special place and treating them like queen or king.
- Please don’t forget to apologize as well.
- Cost: No limits.
Conclusion
People might mistake that, I am trying to solve the issue with money but I am not because apologizing is the key in every level. You are putting the extra effort to please them and make sure the relationship is healthy again. Different levels give the necessary time and importance to our friends and loved ones. These rules helped me over the years.
I hope you will find them helpful and I am willing to know your thoughts.
