6 Practical Reasons Why You Aren’t Hitting Your Milestones in Life
With the right perspective, the truth is easier to digest.
Life becomes prescriptive when we give too much importance to milestones.
I mean, doesn’t the formula of, “first paycheque by 21, engaged by 25, married by 27, first home by 29, kids by 31…” feel a bit too cliché?
Now don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to have something to work towards in life. But if the last 6 years of my post-graduation life have taught me anything, it’s that perspective is everything.
What do I mean by this?
Well, if you want to understand why you aren’t hitting the milestones you’re swinging for, you have to look beyond the most obvious reasons.
You have to develop the right perspective to be able to determine what’s holding you back, even if that means digesting some harsh truths along the way.
Let’s dive right in.
1. You Aren’t Willing to Put in the Hard Work
“The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” — Vince Lombardi
I don’t need to remind you of the “blood, sweat and tears” that is the backbone of every goal ever accomplished. But I do need to remind you that it takes guts to admit you simply haven’t done enough.
If buying your first home was on your to-do list before 30, ask yourself, did you do everything you possibly could have to get there?
Did you work your butt off and land a promotion that would guarantee a healthy mortgage? Did you annoy every estate agent you could possibly find before viewing your 60th home this year?
Or are you still complaining about an overvalued property market while regularly splurging your earnings on ‘Friday night mojitos’?
Takeaway #1: Start by being honest with yourself. Can you do more to get to where you want to go?
2. You’re Still Stuck on the Milestones You Once Missed
“A ship does not sail with yesterday’s wind.” — Louis L’Amour, The Walking Drum
Unless you’re some earth-shattering genius who caught every lucky charm in the universe, you simply won’t hit every single milestone you ever swing for. You can’t escape disappointments. Period.
The fundamental fact of life is that nobody wins all the time. It’s okay to lose once in a while.
But if you’re still beating yourself up on the fact that you didn’t fall in love by 25, then frankly, you’re ruining your chances of falling in love by 27, 30, 35, 40…you get the drift.
Instead, refocus your energy towards the milestones you’re still able to it. Your future is half-full, not half-empty.
Takeaway #2: Learn to move on. Failing to do so will only hold you back in life.
3. Your Milestones Are Too Abstract
“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.” — Bill Copeland
If your milestones aren’t specific enough, then the chances are, you’ll be throwing darts and missing, badly.
If, on the other hand, you’re able to clearly define what it is you want, then not only will you be more likely to stand your ground in moments of doubt, but you’ll also be able to benefit from the powers of visualisation.
If you wish to become a top-level executive at a major company, start by being more explicit about the position you’re after. Does the top job come with the title of CEO, CFO, CIO, CTO, or any other position that starts with a ‘C’ and ends with an ‘O’?
Takeaway #3: The more specific you are about your milestones, the greater the probability you’ll hit them.
4. Your Milestones Make Zero Sense Right Now
“Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars, but remember to keep your feet on the ground.” — Theodore Roosevelt
If your milestones don’t make sense for where you’re at in life, it might be time to head back to the drawing board.
If you’re 22, fresh out of college, and dreaming of becoming a millionaire entrepreneur by 25, then I’m afraid it’s time to get real. By 45, yes, I can see it happening. By 25, I can’t say I’m fully convinced.
Most of us attempt to bring forward milestones that are better placed for later years. We’re desperate to realise the feeling of being successful without seeing through our journey to the end. We’re constantly at risk of building near-term goals that make zero financial or intuitive sense.
To snap out of this phase, you have two options. Either you ditch what you’re looking to achieve. Or you alter your perspective and tell yourself, “I’m in it for the long-haul.” The choice is yours.
Takeaway #4: If your milestones don’t make sense right now, save them for a later date.
5. You’re Obsessed With the Result, Not the Process
This is very Gary Vee-esque, but if you don’t love the journey, then guess what, you ain’t gonna get very far.
In an episode of the ‘AskGary Vee Show’, he says the following,
“You’ve gotta deploy patience and you gotta love the process. I’m addicted to the process of the battle scars, the setbacks, the lack of, you know.”
The way I see it, if you wish to be married by 30, you have to find enjoyment in dating. You have to relish the the fun (and hard work) that comes with being in a relationship. And you have to be willing to embrace the head-spinning feeling when you do eventually ‘pop the question’. If you hate any part of this journey, then maybe you’re not ready for the end result.
Takeaway #5: You have to be obsessed with the process, not the destination. Or, if you’re like Gary Vee and you want to buy the New York Jets:
“I want the process of trying to buy the New York Jets more than buying the New York Jets.”
6. Something Better Is Happening. You Just Can’t See It Yet
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” — Les Brown
I’m an optimist. And a believer too. So I’ll end with this.
If you’ve managed to avoid all of the pitfalls described above, and you still haven’t hit your milestones, then maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Maybe, just maybe, now isn’t your time.
That’s not to say you should stop trying. By all means, you have to keep shooting and missing before you “land among the stars”.
You have to keep doing the right things, taking action, maintaining the right perspective.
Soon enough, you’ll hit a home run. But it might not be the sort of home run you once imagined. And that’s okay too.
Final Takeaway: Keep swinging. Eventually something good will come your way — you just might not be able to see it yet.
Thank you for reading!
