A Young Man’s Guide to Leadership: The Power of Influence
When you take leadership in helping others you inevitably end up helping yourself
My Experience (Or Lack of…)
Growing up I was always that quiet shy kid in class that I’ve always kept my thoughts to myself; as you may have imaged I had zero experience in leadership
It has only been the past year where I decided to read into the skills of what it takes to create a positive influence on other people because quite frankly school never really teaches us this
We have become a generation who are afraid to physically speak up about injustices due to feeling embarrassed. Heck, we barely hold eye contact and greet other people walking by due to us being so indulged in technology
Instead, we may resort to voicing our opinions online which:
(1) Dilutes your message as anybody can voice their opinions as anonymous without any repercussions
(2) Fear of “Cancel Culture” and making you feel like a social outcast when you try to voice your opinions
Unfortunately, this is something the education system never covers despite it being one of the most crucial skills you can learn in your life when it comes to your Career & Dating especially
Just think about it: having the ability to speak your mind whilst setting clear boundaries, beliefs and values with others is a MUST
The only experience I can remember back in school was in a drama lesson, talking in front of your class whilst trying your best not to laugh because your friends were there
Now before we dive into leadership we should probably clarify the true meaning of leadership? You may have this image in your head of an extraverted, boastful guy on a pedestal ordering others below him to do what they’re told. I’m here to tell you why this image we have in our head is complete BS
In fact, leadership should naturally happen when you are able to see or do something that others cannot see whether that is a certain level of intelligence or experience that you have that you think others may benefit from-
There is actually a quote from Elon Musk in a podcast in which he says: “Often the best leader doesn’t want to lead”
True leadership is when you take the responsibility to serve other people rather than people serving you
This means your actions should be Purpose Driven i.e. bigger than yourself. This is where you will get the quotes of “Get on your Purpose” or “Chase your Dreams” because that responsibility is what truly gives you fulfilment in life
Okay now you have the right mindset on what it takes to become a great leader now let’s get into the practical steps that I have personally practised from books and other good influencers
STAGE 1: FOCUS ON YOURSELF
No one wants to work with someone who doesn’t practice what they preach
We don’t want to be like one of those fat Personal Trainers that order others to start exercising or the Broke Finance Guru telling others how to manage their finances
Instead, the best way to earn respect and trust to earn the right to lead others is to lead not by word but by EXAMPLE
Why? because your actions support what you say, people will begin to naturally trust you. Then they will respect you & will start to follow you out of choice. Because of this, the first stage of leadership isn’t really focused on directing others at all, even though you may be sitting there thinking “Ahh if I just knew what to say…”
This is what the majority of people focus on and you are missing the whole game that you’re supposed to be playing. Instead, your potential to influence others comes from simply holding yourself accountable for your actions, habits, and behaviours
Essentially you are focusing on the quality of the product, which is yourself, rather than the pitch of trying your absolute hardest to plead others as to why they should follow what you have to say
Be honest and ask yourself this question: Why should someone follow what you have to say?
If what I just stated there annoyed you slightly, realise that your brain just generated thoughts as to how much work you haven’t done and how much you have been procrastinating
However, if you reacted to my question with gratitude like “You know what I’ve been consistently hitting my workouts and waking up early whilst finishing my tasks”
Having a good list along with the authentic Self-Confidence that comes with actually putting in the work will be the determining factor as to why someone should follow your advice
However, one thing I have to note is please do not let this be the limiting factor, because some people may take this advice as “ONCE I build the body or have X amount of experience THEN I will be ready…”
Newsflash: You will never be ready!
In fact, it is better to start the act of influencing as soon as possible and learn along the way, as you only really have to be a couple of steps ahead of other people
So how exactly do you go about leadership and influencing others?
STAGE 2: ACT WITH HUMILITY & BUILD RELATIONSHIPS
Initially, I thought that the typical move of becoming an influence to others would be to be the big man and tell others what to do…
Unfortunately, this type of approach was ineffective when helping others due to one thing:
I lacked the Skill of Humility
Sure, even though I followed step one and focused on my own growth I thought that having a bit of pride in my progress would have earned the respect of others, when in actual fact it was the complete opposite
When we become an influence that others look up to, the real reason why people will come to you for advice is that from their perspective they want someone that can actively listen to their specific problem who has also walked the walk
Humility is a skill that is responsible for reducing your ego. Ego blinds your growth and stunts how applicable your help will be to people because you will have it in your mind that they are wrong and you are right
There are two main points you should take into consideration which I have learnt through books and experience when you are put in the situation to influence others:
- Talk about your own mistakes when giving criticism
This is where you have to keep your ego low as you have to realise it isn’t nearly so difficult for the other person to receive criticism when you begin by humbly admitting that you are far from perfect
And you begin discussing the undiscussable as you openly talk about your own story along with topics that are against the norm
So with myself, I openly talk about the dangers of Porn Addiction along with the Mental Health issues of Depression and Anxiety I have gone through due to today's Internet Addictions through Instagram and Youtube
In addition, branching off of Humility comes the Skill of Listening- yes listening is a skill
For most of us, the skill of listening is not talking. And due to the mindlessness, we get from technology today’s conversations end up becoming us talking to a brick wall
The real value in listening comes from having the ability to actively soak up the information of what others have to say and generate questions that allow you to go deeper into the conversation, which brings me only my next point
- Ask Specific Questions instead of giving direct orders
I will admit, I have made the mistake multiple times of not asking specific questions before giving direct orders, especially when people have come to me for fitness advice
So instead of telling someone to “Go Exercise” even though it may be the right advice at the time, people still will not take it on board as:
(1) I failed to listen to their specific problem
(2) I failed to acknowledge what they have to say
Asking questions will stimulate the creative part of their brain as people are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision that caused the order
Furthermore, if they come up with their own input which aligns with their goals, feel free to implement and integrate that into the plan. Now all of a sudden, you will see their face light up with a “We can do it” attitude
Their respect for you will skyrocket as you may have been the only person who has sat down to actively listen to their issue whilst giving them the opportunity to decide parts of the plan
STAGE 3: SCALE & DEVELOP NEW LEADERS
If you’re ready to take your leadership skills to a whole other level this is it- spawn in more leaders!
I’ll be honest as I have the humility to admit that I am currently not at this stage yet but as this channel grows and hopefully inspire more Young Guys with my content it will inspire those to chase their dreams
The best leaders are not satisfied by merely motivating others but by having a genuine desire to develop the leaders for the future. As you build a team full of leaders, you’ll have even more people actively working to improve their own efforts and the performance of everyone they themselves are trying to influence
Begin able to influence others to become leaders in their own right is a process that will ultimately keep on giving! You will create lasting relationships along with people sticking with you because you have created a positive, uplifting culture
Keep in mind that Leadership is a journey, not a destination. So by you being intentional in levelling up your leadership skills will drastically improve your chances of becoming successful…
Not just for the short term but for most importantly for the long term where you will have the capability to create a legacy for yourself!
Thank you for reading, I hope you found some value in this post
