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Change Your Language, Change Your Life
I’ve been thinking about some research I learned of recently about healing depression.
In a control group where one selection of people were given meds and another were told to take “can’t” and “have to” out of their vocabulary, the group that changed their language moved the needle most meaningfully in terms of transforming their depression.
The words can’t and have to are incredibly powerful. They cue the body to feel a sense of entrapment and victimization. The cause and effect relationship between how we talk and how we feel can seem subtle. But once we commit to the practice of paying close attention to our own language, it’s staggering to realize how affected we are by it.
Consider how often most of us say the phrase: I can’t. It’s become a whole movement. It’s a hashtag, a meme, an attitude. An entire Saturday Night Live skit was written about it.
I can’t.
I can’t even.
I literally can’t.
It’s a way of expressing how impossible things feel. How fed up we are. Every time we say it, we’re reinforcing a negative feeling of limitation and overwhelm. The more commonplace a certain phrase becomes, the less conscious we are to its impact and meaning.