DEI Derangement Syndrome: White Math. Wrong Number.

Once I asked a group of white people, “What percentage of American adults do you guess are Black? The answers ranged from 25 to 30 percent. When YouGov asked American adults over 18 the same question, the response was even more incredible. Americans estimate the Black population of the U.S. is a whopping three times larger than reality. THREE TIMES!

Let me tell you something about Black folks: we are magic, yes. But we’re not multiplying-loaves-and-fishes-in-every-hiring-pool magic.

Yet somehow, white America — specifically white men with Wi-Fi and a grievance — have convinced themselves that every time they don’t get a job, a Black person must have walked off with it. Statistically speaking, this is the workplace equivalent of believing Bigfoot stole your Amazon package.

According to the numerous DMs, comment sections, and very upset LinkedIn trolls in response to my wit-with-a-data-point scribbling, there’s a widespread feeling that the DEI-industrial complex has turned the U.S. job market into a Hunger Games for mediocre white dudes with odds that are never in their favor.

But let’s get something straight. Math doesn’t care about your feelings:
Black Americans make up only 13.6 percent of the U.S. population. Period. What’s more, Black Americans have remained between 13 to 14 percent of the U.S. population since 1865.

Since 1865!

That’s not my opinion. That’s the U.S. Census. And unlike your drunk uncle’s Facebook memes, the Census Bureau doesn’t use vibes and Fox News comedians masquerading as journalists to do its job.

So, let’s do a little back-of-the-envelope math here:

• There are 50 states in the union.
• There are roughly 42 to 47 million Black Americans.
• That’s not even a million Black folks per state!
• And if you take out the kids, elders, incarcerated folks (thanks, systemic racism!), and those just trying to mind their business, we’re talking about a thin sliver of the workforce pie.

Yet somehow, we’re supposed to believe this modest number of Black Americans managed to corner the market on great jobs, promotions, C-suite seats, and tech industry internships. Dude, the math doesn’t add up!

The “DEI Hire” Myth

Whenever I publish something even mildly pro-inclusion or pro-equity, I get drunk off the whine that floods in with the past-its-expiration-date cheese:

“I lost out on a VP position because of a DEI hire.”

“My white son was rejected from med school because they had to make room for diversity.”

“You people are getting all the jobs now.”

“My son’s field is very DEI forward, and it kept him out of a job for three years.”

Really? For three years, he’s been losing out to Black folks. It’s time to unpack the old grievance suitcase because this excuse is getting musty.

First, if someone outperformed you, especially for THREE YEARS, it may have had nothing to do with their skin color. It could be a matter of talent, which I define as the motivation to apply your capabilities in ways that the manager and the team require. It's a wild concept, I know. Capabilities. Motivation. And the perceptions of the team that may or may not believe that you fit their bill.

Second, Black folks still don’t have proportional representation in executive leadership, corporate boards, media ownership, venture capital, academia, or government. Sure, Kendrick Lamar’s dancers might be too Black for TV, but if we were genuinely running things, the racial wealth gap wouldn’t be wider than 100 times the distance between Beverly Hills and Compton.

And finally, if white people are losing jobs to other applicants, 86% of the time, it’s to other white people, just ones with better resumes, better skills, or better connections. Or, frankly, just ones who didn’t get drunk at the company retreat and hit “reply all” with a racist meme.

But It Feels Like…

Yes, I know. It feels like DEI is taking over.

When I was young, my street-smart brother explained this to me as the red ping-pong ball phenomenon. If there’s only one red ping-pong ball in a box of white ping-pong balls, and they roll onto the floor, everyone’s eye follows the red ping-pong ball. Trust me, for Black folks, this is a blessing and a curse, mostly the latter. Black people and other marginalized folks are finally being seen, and unfortunately, that’s still a big deal for most Americans. One or two Black hires per department feel like a flood when you’re used to a whiteout of sameness.

But let me say this in bold for the people in the back of the boardroom:

Representation is not domination. Equity is not exclusion. And DEI is not a conspiracy — it’s a correction.

The Real Affirmative Action

We can’t forget that the biggest affirmative action program in American history is whiteness itself. From the Homestead Acts to GI Bills to legacy college admissions and old boys’ networks, the game was fixed from the start.

When the rules get slightly more fair, some white people wear victimization like a well-tailored suit. When they have to play like everyone else, they whine about “reverse racism” because they can’t reverse-engineer how they got ahead in the first place.

The Truth is the Pause That’s Refreshing.

If you didn’t get the job, maybe you weren’t the best candidate. Perhaps it was someone with broader skills, a more compelling story, or — gasp — a less defeatist attitude. And the probability is they are as white as you.

Blaming a statistical minority for your majority discomfort and lack of intestinal fortitude isn’t just wrong. It’s lazy. And you know what? YOU deserve better than this moldy excuse. So do we.

Because fact: Black excellence is real, but Black ubiquity is a fantasy and a boogeyman keeping white people from realizing true excellence. You keep insisting that DEI is a threat when all it threatens is the empty narrative of whiteness that will never deliver the self-worth you’re looking for.

Dr. Lauren Tucker is the CEO of Do What Matters and a fierce advocate for inclusive talent strategies, anti-racist workplace cultures, and math that doesn’t lie. Unless otherwise noted, all snark is lovingly backed by data. Please follow and subscribe even if I piss you off.