Dissecting Our Present Experience
In an earlier piece, we had discussed the concept of mindfulness, and its impact not only on the outcome of our efforts but also how it can lead us to awareness about ourselves through true insight. Drawing from the Buddha’s teachings, we observed the role of cause and effect in our lives- our approach to the present moment becomes the cause for the next, and our lives are thereby shaped from moment to moment.
This relationship of the present moment to the next, therefore, means that our awareness of what constitutes our present experience can contribute significantly to mindfully living each moment, and shaping our lives positively. With this as the objective, dissecting the present experience into discernible elements is what we will consider here.
What constitutes our present experience
I will use an illustrative situation to develop the concept. Let us say, I was scheduled to attend a social meet in the evening, which is six hours away. I observed that I was not feeling very good about being there in a few hours. Therefore, on the face of it, my present experience can be described as “not very good” or unpleasant.
I decided to delve deeper into this feeling and realized that it was composed of a few specific factors. One, the meet included several people who during my past interactions had tended to focus their conversations on politics and the movie world, topics that I do not particularly enjoy. I had often felt excluded from conversations in similar gatherings that I had attended in the past and resented the air of superiority I had encountered then. Since I did not expect the situation to be different this time around, I was experiencing an unpleasant feeling now.
Another aspect that I probably did not realize as contributing to my feeling was that I was presently craving an escape from the situation. The escape could be in the form of a call that says that the meet is canceled, or that a member of the group calls me to travel together, which would make me feel better included.
As I delved further, I could realize that my feelings were being fuelled by my fear of losing self-esteem at a public gathering, my unwillingness to approach my interactions with confidence under the guidance of my strengths, and my pre-judging of people and situations I would encounter in future. Yet, while undergoing the present experience, I probably had none of these realizations, and thus would know it simply as an unpleasant feeling that carries on to the evening and develops my reality of an unwelcome gathering.
Insights from the present experience
What insight about our present experience can we discern from this example? Here is my reflection on it. Our present experience is a function of at least three elements.
Past experiences
The development of our minds is a continual phenomenon of conditioning where past experience plays a great role. In the example, the fact that my previous experience with people I was going to meet had disturbed my self-esteem, created an aversion for the evening on the horizon. In fact, it is very likely that even when it is undecided as to who will be present at the gathering, my default expectation will be of a group of people who are unpleasant and I would do my best to avoid being there. All of this is drawn from my past experiences.
Expectations from the present moment
The foundation of past experience catalyzed by cravings and aversions germinates expectations from the present moment. These expectations are often delinked from reality. Rather than acknowledging the present moment for what it was, I was allowing my fears to generate unreal expectations such as cancelation of the meet, aimed only at bringing me back to my comfort zone. Furthermore, seeking validation by expecting others to reach out could most likely yield disappointment.
Since we often view the present moment through the lens of expectations that color it with outcomes that we desire (or wish to avoid!), we tend to miss the opportunity to meet it with our best selves and shape the next moment.
Clinging as a driver of bias and judgment
The Buddha’s teachings refer to clinging-aggregates, which are the attributes that encourage us to cling to forms, feelings, perceptions, fabrications, and consciousness. An elaborate discussion on their impact can be reserved for a separate piece. Simply understood, our continually seeking to cling to forms and feelings we consider pleasant; perceptions, views, and fabrications that we identify with; and consciousness states that satisfy our cravings and aversions, lead us towards an unending pursuit of expectations, as well as judging the present in a way that instills biases in our approach to the present.
Conclusion
The principles we observed through the illustration apply to a wide variety of situations that we experience every day. It could be a business interaction, a family relationship, or any experience we may even be looking forward to. We may not always appreciate what shapes the present experience and how it can be dissected. Effectively understanding our present experience can enable us to separate biases and judgments, and invest our best efforts in shaping the effect, which is the next moment.
It is beneficial to mindfully bring our awareness to the present experience through its constituents and know the roots of the current feeling. Becoming more aware of this dimension could help us lead our lives less reactively under the biases of our past experiences, expectations, and clinging attributes, and more through awareness of the present experience beyond the impermanent feeling.
Next time we find ourselves in any situation, we can start with acknowledging the present experience, first through the current feeling, and then dissecting it as an association of our past experiences, expectations, and clinging biases. That would be a first step towards knowing our present experience as insight and also basing it effectively to mindfully shape our emerging reality. Gradually, as we begin to perceive the benefits of knowing our present experience, we can adopt meditative practices that can help us in building our journey towards mindfully shaping our experiences and approaches.
