Failing at failing
When I was in high school, I was enrolled in the International Baccalaureate (IB) program so that I could take Computer Science, a course that was only offered through the IB stream. I loved working with computers and I grew to love programming through my Computer Science IB course. Many of my friends struggled when deciding what degree they would pursue but my path was always clear to me: Computer Science or Software Engineering. Once I had settled on Software Engineering it was immediately clear that I had to attend the University of Waterloo due to the calibre of the program that the school offered. After submitting my application, I remember anxiously waiting for my acceptance letter so that I could tell everyone that I was going to Waterloo. I distinctly remember getting my results back: I didn’t get accepted to Waterloo. I failed my dream.
During my time at McMaster University, I was heavily involved with a club that profoundly impacted me: the McMaster Ismaili Students Association. Through this club I met some of the most amazing people that I’ve ever met. I’ve learnt from them, worked with them, laughed with them, lived with them, and travelled with them; anything and everything really. Today, a lot of them are still some of my best friends. Like I said, this club was pretty important to me and I wanted to give back the same amazing experience that I had with the club and its members to all the current and incoming members. So I decided to run for the position of Chair/President. I figured that would be the best way I could give back and make an impact. I ended up losing the election to one of my best friends. I failed.
In my final year of university all that was on my mind was where would I would be working in a few months? I knew I wanted a job where I could utilize my Software Engineering background and I was really interested in cybersecurity. But, I was also hoping for a job where I could do more things related to the business side of operations. I ended up finding this really cool Cyber Risk Consultant job with Deloitte. It was almost exactly what I was looking for and I got super excited when I applied and got an interview. In fact, I made it to the final round which was a one-on-one interview with a partner. And then I heard back, I didn’t get the job. I failed.
I have failed many times in my life and I will fail many many more times. But I didn’t let my world end with each failure: though I didn’t get into the University of Waterloo, I ended up at McMaster University, a place that I will always be grateful to call it home. Though I wasn’t appointed Chair/President of the Ismaili Students Association, my appointment as an Executive Director enabled me to mentor the frosh and help grow the club. In place of a position at Deloitte, I received a fellowship with Venture For Canada where I have met some of the brightest minds in the country.
We need to collectively come to an understanding: failing is okay because failure is not a destination, failure is only a pit-stop on your journey.
When you ignore the lessons that you encounter along your journey, when you are not embracing your failure, you are failing at failing.
Conversely, succeeding at failing is when you fail at something but you come out of that failure embracing the lessons you learnt through your failure. You still take your time to be sad, but you can be open about it and draw from those lessons for the future. You don’t shy away from the same challenge in the future. You try again. And if you fail again, you continue to learn.
When you expose your failures to the world, you make yourself vulnerable and a lot of what I mentioned here, some of my closest friends don’t even know. But why should I be scared to share that with them or you? It doesn’t change who I am today. It doesn’t change anything that I’ve accomplished. It shouldn’t make anyone think less of me.
The fact is that though we live in an ultra competitive society, our social media profiles are a compilation of our greatest accomplishments. We show off to the world all the amazing things we’ve done and how successful we are to the world. And honestly, there’s nothing wrong with that. But each and every one of us has failed on the way to get to where we are today.
We shouldn’t shy away from those failures. Each failure has taught us something that has allowed us to learn and grow in some way yet, we’re scared to admit that we’re not superhuman. We don’t like admitting that there have been bumps in the road because the people around us aren’t admitting the same.
Today I am telling you many of the ways that I have failed and no one around me may open up in the same way. The sad truth is that people may judge me for my failures; they may think less of me. But hopefully, they can accept that I am a human being just like them. I have my flaws, I have failed, and I’m trying to own that.
And I think it’s about time that we all try to do that. You can start small, tell your friends when you’ve done poorly on a test or when you’ve gotten in trouble with your boss. Ultimately, stop failing at failing. Start embracing the failures that have paved the way for your success today. You are who you are today because of them.
