“I Changed My Own Mind”: The Only Way Any Mind Has Ever Been Changed

It was cold out, but Maya didn’t want to put on her coat. An adult tried to compel her, bringing her the puffy pink parka she had worn to school that morning, holding it out to her coaxingly, urging her, “You’ll be too cold outside.”

Our policy was that the kids got to make their own decisions about wearing their coats, the theory being that it wouldn’t be the end of the world if they discovered, on their own, the natural consequence of being underdressed. When it was particularly cold, I might say something like, “It’s cold out there. I’m wearing my warm coat,” but otherwise the decision was theirs to make.

It was early in the school year and this parent-teacher either hadn’t got the message or was heeding a care-taker’s urge that was more persistent than our policy. “Just put it on, please. If you get too hot you can take it off.”

Maya responded by running out the door onto the playground, unburdened by her coat. As the adult followed her, still carrying the parka, I said, “Why don’t you leave the coat on a hook? Then if she gets cold she’ll know where it is.”

“But she will get cold.”

“I know.”

Reluctantly, she returned the coat to its hook and we went outside together. Moments later another…