I Have Seen The Light and It Is Awful
“I once was lost, but now am found” sounds nice, but accepting a belief you previously rejected is very painful.
I was talking to a friend about the anniversary of the American start of the pandemic. Of course everyone’s different after the past 12 months, but I told her that my changes include the loss of core beliefs and parts of my personality. She asked what I meant.
“Well, for one thing,” I said, “I used to not believe there was anything after we die. I didn’t believe in anything I couldn’t see. I was like, here we are and there’s no higher being or anyone or anything else. This is it. But after what I went through last summer, I now believe in a spiritual world.”
“Well, that’s good!” she said.
“It doesn’t feel good.”
Someone outside of the person whose core beliefs have been destroyed might see that as moving in a good direction, but it’s an extremely painful experience.
Imagine the person who centers their identity at least in part on white supremacy, or a political party, or the belief that their way of life is better than all the others. Imagine they trust the family and community that taught them these beliefs, and imagine that this person has a nice, safe life in which…
