It’s Time To Retire The Term “White Privilege”
Labels don’t end racism. True human connections do.
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Let’s retire the term “white privilege.” Like many terms born during times of racial upheaval, the term is now doing more harm than good. Labels don’t end racism, true human connections do.
As a middle-aged black woman, the term “white privilege” makes me cringe. I know that its origin is well-meaning — it is meant to symbolize what blacks have always known — that in most ways being white makes life easier. Most white people don’t reflect on, or fret over, being able to complete mundane daily tasks without the threat of being killed (i.e., jogging, grocery shopping, walking to school, sleeping in one’s own home, sitting in a park, changing a tire, getting pulled over for speeding, etc., etc. etc.)
But, instead of yelling at whites to “check” their white privilege, isn’t it more productive to not label them at all? This labelling just further entrenches racists in their beliefs and puts well-meaning potential allies on the defensive. White people feel judged and attacked because of something they cannot change — the color of their skin. Sound familiar?
Many of my white friends and family bristle at this “white privilege” label and tell me that it makes them feel attacked, guilty, shamed and hopeless. Can I blame them? It starts from the premise that they are wrong for being white and that they are oppressors of blacks. If someone who doesn’t know me starts throwing around loaded words without taking the time to get to know me, I will shut down, react with anger and get the hell out of there. This is not the nature of white people or black people — it is human nature.
Your monetary donations to the anti-racism movement are much appreciated, but have you ever invited your black coworker over for dinner at your house?
The tragedy of the murder of George Floyd has planted a seed of resolve in white people to listen, learn, help and change respecting issues of race in America — one that I haven’t seen in my lifetime. Why use this unprecedented time of potential monumental change to blame, castigate and shame white people? How is this helpful? In the war against racism, why would one want to hobble and cripple one’s allies? Guilt and shame are not empowering emotions.
As a black woman I don’t want to hear about your childhood of relative comfort, or your apologies for your whiteness, or guilt for looking the other way when something racist happens, or your previous obliviousness to the obstacles black people face. You have nothing to apologize to me or anyone else for. You are who you are.
Instead of seeking me out at the bookstore to tell me triumphantly that you bought your daughter some books with black characters to “check” your white privilege — just buy the books. Slip them into your child’s reading rotation and they will take from the books what resonates with them.
Instead of posting a crying Tik Tok video or publishing an op-ed about why you loathe yourself for being white and enjoying your privilege, acknowledge the favorable hand that you have been dealt and begin the difficult work of better understanding yourself and how to make meaningful, real, organic connections with others that don’t look like you.
How about going out on a limb and getting to know your black colleague at work? How about inviting him or her to a socially distanced lunch or a Zoom happy hour? How about including the Mom or Dad of the only black kid on the soccer team in your post game trip to Starbucks?
In these coronavirus dominated times FaceTime or Google hangout or Zoom or Houseparty, and connect with people that don’t look like you. These small acts of inclusion and overtures of understanding are more apt to cure the racial divide in this country than my black anger or your white guilt. How about we ditch the labels and just work together, shoulder to shoulder to end racism and truly begin to understand each other?
Your monetary donations to the anti-racism movement are much appreciated, but have you ever invited your black coworker over for dinner at your house? Have you ever mentored a black colleague? Have you taken the time to consider a black acquaintance’s point of view? Have you made the effort to make a connection with someone black centered on your common interests and values? How about doing something in your own orbit to make a black person feel seen and valued?
Until we come together we are all doomed. Doomed to repeat the past. Doomed to repeat the present. Doomed to let divisions and long-festering anger blow us apart from the inside. Now more than ever we need to reach out to our fellow human beings. Period. No labels needed.
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