Mother is a Loaded Word

Mary Welch Official
Age of Awareness
Published in
3 min readMay 13, 2024

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It was Mother’s Day in the US yesterday.

I ate french toast and then repotted some plants on the patio, between rain showers. I couldn’t find my gardening gloves but that’s ok. Sometimes it’s important to feel the dirt against your bare hands. To let it get under your nails and make a mess.

I thought about a friend of mine whose mother died suddenly a few years ago. I remembered the funeral. The turn out. The rain that could have almost been snow if the temperature was just a little lower. Her dress. Her bloodshot eyes. The long line of people waiting to hug her and tell her they love her and then the long silence she told me about, which followed. When no one knew what to say or forgot to check in altogether, regular life picking its momentum back up.

A wedding is not a marriage and a funeral is not the grieving process. It’s just the first step across a threshold. We need support after the first step, in order to keep going.

Mother’s Day, with all its good intentions and bright pink flowers, always feels like a grief trap to me. It wakes the beast of a wound so many of us carry. The wound of not being mothered the way we needed or losing a mother too soon or not having the experience of being a mother ourselves as we may have dreamed of.

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Mary Welch Official
Age of Awareness

Check out my book: Love Notes From a Soul Coach + learn more abt my work: marywelch.com