The 3 Laws Of Self-Compassion Will Make You Tougher
You can’t be compassionate and irresponsible at the same time
“Self-compassion” is one of those phrases that can trigger an almost instant roll of the eyes.
It can conjure up images of self-indulgent behavior like allowing yourself that extra piece of cake because you deserve it. Or of denying responsibility and letting yourself off the hook for spending all your income last month on cake.
Professor of Psychology Dr. Kristin Neff had a similar perspective on self-compassion when she first encountered the concept during a Buddhist meetup:
“You mean you’re actually allowed to be nice to yourself, to have compassion for yourself when you mess up or are going through a really hard time? I don’t know . . . if I’m too self-compassionate, won’t I just be lazy and selfish?”
It took Dr. Neff a while to get her head around the idea.
In the West, self-compassion gets mixed up with the desire to feel special. We think it’s about making yourself feel better and disowning or reframing your issues and flaws as if touching up an imperfect selfie with some quick photoshopping.
In Buddhism, self-compassion has nothing to do with pampering yourself or glossing over the facts. It’s…
