The Fastest Way To Upgrade Your Life Emotionally
Deep Emotional Healing
What is the one thing you can do to upgrade your life as quickly as possible and when I say upgrade I mean to upgrade your financial life your relationship life your love life your fitness life your career life?
I always say that there is only one thing consistently across the board that will make the biggest difference forever in your life if you do this regularly now in today’s Story I want to introduce you to that practice so I will preface this by saying this is not some easy light fluffy story what I will say when you do this practice your life will upgrade rapidly.
Alright so with this exercise you’re going to be writing a few things so you’re gonna write one
A. I feel that…
B. I wish that…
C. I believe that…
D. But I know…
So let me explain what you’re gonna write with these:
I feel that…
I feel that they’re just gonna be writing write out what’s true, which is basically every single emotion that you’re feeling so every emotion is probably going to be a negative emotion.
Write What’s True
Write everything you know about the situation. So let’s say we’re dealing with two examples:
You hate your mom or your dad because they’re forcing you into a career; you hate.
You got dumped by someone and you have a ton of negative emotions around that person now, so every negative emotion.
I wish that…
I wish that write out what you know
I believe that …..
I believe that write out:
Write Down The Lies You Telling Yourself
The story you’re telling yourself is huge because the story is often a lie.
But I know …..
Write Down How You Evolve/ Overcome
But I know and this is how you’ll improve okay.
So let’s say we’re dealing with a situation of one my mom forced me to go to medical school.
The first situation and it’s bringing up constant arguments let’s just go with a stereotype let’s say you’ve got a typical tiger mom they’re forcing you into Medical School you hate it it’s not what you love you’re miserable you’re arguing you’re screaming with them.
So let’s go with the first thing A then the next BC&D.
I feel that my mom is such an idiot okay I feel that my parents are stupid and don’t listen to me I feel that I don’t want to be a doctor I feel that I’m so depressed okay.
I wish that so remember point A is just honesty what do you feel what’s pissing you off deal with the emotion bringing up.
I wish that they would listen to me I wish that they would tell me why they want this besides just having a successful child who’s miserable okay write out what you’re saying what you know okay.
I believe that which is the story you’re telling yourself and you may have to dig deep for this but here’s what may come up.
I believe that I don’t have a choice I have to do this I believe that I can’t push back I believe that I can’t say no these are all beliefs these are not true but this is what millions of children do every year and they just obey their parent's requests.
D is always how you will evolve overcome the challenge
But I know that it’s ultimately my choice and obviously write all these out I’m just doing this to save time it’s ultimately my choice but I know if I have a serious conversation with them they’ll be forced to at least hear my opinion.
So after this exercise, you’re left with what’s frustrating you all these negative emotions what you wish would happen what you wish like if you could have your way what you wish would come true but I believe that this is the story and then last but I know how you’re gonna conquer and over to you and overcome this that’s great.
In the second example, you got dumped by your Ex and it was someone you really loved okay.
So is I feel that you write out every emotion Kelly is such a dumb expletive why didn’t she tell me this sooner and just strum me along I really loved her though I guess I wasn’t good enough boom those are all the terrible emotions making you feel like crap.
Write out what you know I wish she would have been more honest sooner
I wish she would have actually acted like she had a soul I wasn’t a heartless demon from Hell.
I wish she should she would not have been such a liar I wish she would have been more faithful.
I believe that and remember this is the story usually a lie you’re telling yourself.
I guess I’m not good enough.
I guess I wasn’t attractive enough.
I guess I wasn’t successful enough for her.
I guess I don’t have a good personality.
I guess I need to lose weight.
I guess I need to gain weight.
I guess I’m just too boring.
I guess I’m just unattractive and she doesn’t like my hair on my nose or my smile.
The last part, But I know how you’re gonna conquer and overcome this what do you know okay but I know that I’m gonna start doing the work on myself but I know that we may just not have been right for each other it may have nothing to do with me being attractive unattractive or unsuccessful.
I know this is a good opportunity to focus on myself in my career etc.
Situation 1 Summary
So now the same thing this situation that was giving you all these negative emotions right you’ve got two of them my mom forced me to go to med school needs building up all this negative emotion that’s pissing you off you deal with the emotion you write down what you know you write down the story that you’re telling yourself and then you write down the truth about how you’re going to improve.
Situation 2 Summary
You got dumped you write down all the negative emotions you write out what you wish would have happened you write out I believe that the story you’re telling yourself and then you write out after that but I know which is how you will improve and how you will grow.
Alright so once you’ve done these exercises how many times do you them for and how long to be the biggest thing is that you keep doing them until you no longer feel that activity you keep doing them until you have the conversation with your mom or you see your mom and there isn’t that same ah that same stuff getting turned up.
You talk to your ex or your date somebody new and those same old triggers are not coming up anymore because you’ve dealt with them so keep doing it and what will happen is often you’ll read it in the morning you’ll read it at night you’ll go through it over and over.
It may bring up emotions and then eventually a month in or three months in or six months in you read it nothing comes up that’s it and then it’s done it’s processed and what I found is that this has been the most valuable method of emotional healing that I’ve ever done it’s just by giving yourself that awareness and that it’s like this inner dialogue but you keep addressing until it no longer brings stuff up.
So I hope that helps.