The Goalpost That Keeps Moving
A Cup of Tea and a Crisis
It’s December, the month of glimmering lights, Mariah Carey on repeat, and the creeping sense of disappointment we try to push aside. It started with tea. My friend sighed and said, “I feel like I didn’t achieve what I wanted this year,” referring to her career aspirations.
I sipped my tea, trying to understand where she was coming from before considering my response, but her words hit like a brick. Because I was thinking the same thing, But for the bigger picture, the unfulfilled plans, the half-read books, the abandoned fitness goals, and the Excel sheet full of milestones gathering dust.
This so-called end-of-year reflection season sneaks up on us, peeling back all the layers we’ve carefully built over the months. And suddenly, we’re left wondering, What was the point of all that effort? Are we stuck in a loop episode of our own life?
The Culprit We Don’t Talk About
There’s a universal irony to this time of year, we’re supposed to celebrate, yet all we can think about is what we didn’t do. We could call it a goal crisis, life fatigue, or any other description that fits the Memo.
The problem isn’t that we didn’t try, it’s that we’re stuck chasing impossible ideals, somewhere between “This is my year!” and “Is it over yet?” we forget to account for the bad days, the messy emotions, and, you know, life. It’s like when Joey from Friends decided to write a play, learn French, and adopt a baby penguin — all in one year. Spoiler alert, It didn’t go as planned.
I have identified three culprits:
Aiming too high, too fast: Deciding in January to become a morning person and run a marathon was probably not it.
Lack of consistency: Motivation fizzles, Netflix calls, and suddenly our 10-step morning routine is just a snooze button.
Seeking perfection: If it’s not Instagram-worthy, did it even happen? Monica from Friends said, “Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it.” The real world is messy, and goals rarely play out like Pinterest boards.
Life’s a Sitcom, and We’re All Just Trying to Get to the Next Episode
If life were a sitcom, the title card for this season would probably say: “The one where life didn’t happen, or did it?.” And honestly, that’s the beauty of sitcoms. They are all about the mess, the awkward moments, the unexpected turns, and the things that make us laugh, cringe, and cry when things don’t go as planned.
Let me give you a quick tour through some of my favorite shows to see how they get it right:
Friends taught us early on that life isn’t always going to be neat and tidy “Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it.” And while Monica’s delivery was a little blunt, she’s onto something. It’s the chaos, the in-between moments, the times when everything falls apart that end up being the moments of real growth.
Modern Family’s Phil Dunphy also has a sarcastic way of spilling wisdom, simply “I’m not a great man, I’m a good man. And I can’t tell you how much better it feels to be a good man.” This isn’t about aiming for perfection; it’s about doing the best you can, with what you’ve got, and being okay with that.
Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother gets real when he reminds us that life can’t be controlled or scripted: “You can’t design your life like a building. It doesn’t work that way. You just have to live it, and it’ll design itself.” Sometimes the most important thing we can do is stop trying to plot everything out and just let things unfold, episode by episode.
How to Rethink Goals (Without Losing Your Mind)
Here’s what I’m learning: The answer isn’t to stop setting goals — but to add more grace to the recipe:
Celebrate the Small Stuff: Instead of obsessing over what didn’t happen, focus on what did. Maybe you didn’t write a novel, but you started journaling again. Maybe you didn’t save the world, but you showed up for a friend who needed you.
Start Small, Think Big: James Clear’s Atomic Habits taught me that tiny, consistent actions create lasting change. Want to read more? Start with one page a day. Want to exercise? Commit to five minutes. As Dory Ditch Perfectionism: You don’t need to do everything perfectly to make progress. Ross Geller’s infamous “We were on a break!” Meltdown from Friends teaches us one thing: life doesn’t have to be flawless to count.
Align with What Matters: Forget goals that look good on paper but mean nothing to you. Pursue the things that light you up.
Plot Twist: This Year Was Enough
As the tea cooled and the conversation ended, I realized something, this year wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t wasted. Sure, some goals were left unfinished, but maybe that’s okay. Maybe life isn’t about checking every box, but about trying, failing, and trying again.
So here’s my takeaway as the year ends; Let’s stop setting ourselves up for failure. Let’s stop measuring success in highlights, reels, and posts. Instead, let’s embrace the imperfection and keep moving forward.
