The Hidden Connection Between Grief and Self Confidence

Mary Welch Official
Age of Awareness
Published in
3 min readApr 14, 2024

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When it’s hard to start new things, make the changes we know we need to make, reach out to others or just take chances in general, many of us think we have a motivational problem.

But the culprit might be unprocessed trauma.

Grief, loss and trauma have a certain heaviness, especially when not expressed. It can feel like carrying around a backpack filled with stones and then wondering why it’s so hard to feel energized or positive or up for a challenge.

Sometimes when we’re experiencing this kind of prolonged sadness or exhaustion, we pathologize it. We wonder: what’s my problem? We read books about forming better habits and we try to pump up our resiliency.

But the issue isn’t too much procrastination or too little motivation. The issue is: we haven’t given ourselves permission, space and support to express what wants to be expressed inside of us. We’re still carrying the backpack around. We haven’t emptied out the stones yet.

Healing requires action from us. It requires our willingness to engage with parts of ourselves we might prefer to avoid.

When we avoid our own feelings, a part of us shuts down in response. Our self confidence takes a hit. Because it’s impossible to neglect something and nurture it at the same time.

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Mary Welch Official
Age of Awareness

Check out my book: Love Notes From a Soul Coach + learn more abt my work: marywelch.com