The Not-So Glamorous Beginning

So, I’m 3 days into my international travels.

I forgot to mention last time that I was going to spend a whole week in the Boston area with my great friends from college. It was the perfect appetizer to the main course — this.

At the end of that week, I flew from Boston to Newark, Newark to Dublin, spent 12 hours in the Dublin airport, and then flew another 2 hours to Prague. By the time I arrived in Prague, I had spent almost 30 hours in airports and on airplanes (I may be so bold as to say that is WAY too many hours).

In that time, I’d also gotten only 1 hour of less-than-great sleep. So when I exited the plane in Dublin, I was surprised by how excited I was to keep chugging along, sure that I knew how to handle an Irish airport.

(Spoiler alert: NOPE.)

Classy

Y’know how sometimes you don’t realize how tired you are until you try talking to someone? The minute I opened my mouth to speak with an airlines agent, I began fumbling over my words. I asked her if I needed a printed boarding pass for RyanAir, which was met with an obvious eye-roll and, “How do you suppose I would know that?” After a bit of confusing back-and-forth (“Should I ask the lady over there?” “What makes you think she’d know, either?”), I realized my error. I’d asked an Aer Lingus agent about RyanAir rules. That’d be as if I waltzed up to Spirit Airlines and inquired about United’s carry-on policies. Instant humiliation.

Normally I’d laugh at a silly mistake like that, but there was something about being surrounded by confident people with incredible accents that made me feel like a fool. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever related so personally to Green Day’s “American Idiot.”

After discovering that RyanAir was in a different terminal, I meandered around aimlessly until a government official assisted me. He was pleasant, but then grew suspicious as he couldn’t understand why I was unemployed and in Europe without a solid plan for 3 months — with only a hiking backpack.

Valuable lesson: one woman’s spontaneous adventure is another government’s terrorism risk.

I then had to wait 5 hours to go through security and another 7 hours to finally depart. Exhaustion set in, first as an annoying sleepiness, then to sheer insanity. Allow me to repeat: 1 hour of sleep in 30 hours. I quickly remembered how feeble the human condition is when it gets less of the resources it needs. We may be capable and strong, but my God are we weak. I got to the point where I had to continuously squeeze my hands, shake my head, and walk around in order to stay awake. Kids stared at me in alarm. Adults likely assumed I was on drugs. And I prayed for death*.

(*I can see how you’d think I’m being dramatic)(you’re wrong)

Random candies of kindness

And so, during the flight to Prague, I passed the hell out. The seats didn’t recline, and people were very loud and chatty, but my body still shut off like a Sims character whose energy bar is on red. I awoke an hour later, confused as to why I was in a small plane surrounded by people who didn’t speak my language. Regardless, I felt a million times better.

Right before I fell asleep, I noticed the Irish girl two seats away from me staring at me. I ignored her, slightly annoyed, moreover not caring. A few moments after I awoke, she reached over and handed me a caramel candy. I’d totally forgotten I was starving. The candy instantly made me feel at home, and after the day of misery I’d just endured, I could have cried. She gave me another right after I finished the first. We didn’t exchange many words; I just said, “Thank you — I really needed that.”

Here we go

Now, here I am! Second full day in Prague. The city is beautiful, safe, inexpensive, and luminous. There are so many gorgeous structures and sights to see. Of course, there are some quirks, like paying for tap water and also walking past men who have 3 live snakes around their necks (no thank you). WiFi is free and available in plenty of places, so I’m able to frequently let my parents know I’m alive (hey, Mom!).

With that said, I’m really excited to see what’s in store. And honestly, I’m happy to have started my trip the way I did, because it reminded me of what a roller coaster traveling really is. It took 2 full nights of sleep to catch up on my jet lag — and now I’m ready.

Bring it, Praha*.

(*but like, don’t totally bring it; just…be kind)

Extended Travel Pro-Tips

1. When airlines give you a free blanket and pillow, and you’re about to embark on a 12-hour layover, keep the blanket and pillow. I know you’ll feel like a baby waddling around a confusing airport, but when you’re cold and sleepy — you are a baby. Don’t think you’re being an adult by ditching it on a chair; you will regret everything.
2. If you don’t understand what a foreign airlines agent just said, ask them to repeat. They just gave you directions, fool. Enduring a smidgen of embarrassment is better than walking around aimlessly.
3. Irish people love the phrase “No worries.” (“Do you want your receipt?” “No.” “No worries.”) …okay, that’s a fact, not a tip.
4. It’s okay to sleep unattractively with your mouth gaping open and your head cocked back like a baby bird. All sleep is much needed sleep, even when others are probably taking pictures of you to share with their friends. Let ‘em laugh. At least you’re not praying for death.