This is Where the World Stops
Why we’re fading out of existence
Mama said she was in the grocery store the other day when she felt it — the sensation that she was fading out. Out of the world, out of existence.
You don’t want to hear things like that from your parents.
It’s almost as if you think by not acknowledging death, you can keep it from coming.
But today, it happened to me.
All week, I’ve been at my house like a good citizen. I’ve worked at home in the daytime. Then at night, I sit on my bed, playing games on my phone — caught in a strange cycle of depression.
Even depression won’t allow me to starve my animals, and strangely, not even myself. Instead, I try to feed it like a hungry tiger, peanut butter mostly, something I never eat any other time of my life.
I had to get out of the house or go crazy. Dog food was a reason and an excuse.
Shopping was an odd experience. I’m not a fan on a good day, but this seemed surreal.
A sign at the entrance told me to push a cart no matter how much I was buying. Social distancing is vitally important during this health crisis, and apparently can only be achieved when there’s a physical object…
