Three Kinds of Fear that an International Student Would Face and How to Deal with Them
My speech at MA Education Programmes Induction on 17 September 2018, speaking as former student at School of Education, Society and Communication, King’s College London.
Thank you Tania for having me today. It is such an honour to me. And to all of you, congratulations on making it to King’s. It’s not easy to get into King’s and some of you, especially international students whose first language is not English, might wonder how it would be like to get on. I’m here to share my own experience. Please note that this is not an official study guide. You might not find any study tips from my presentation. But I’m sure you can relate to at least one of the feelings I’m going to talk about. and I believe that being aware of these feelings can help you make the best of your year here!
Three kinds of fear that an international student would face and how to deal with them.
1. Fear of being judged.
Coming from a country where English is not the first language, you might find it difficult to express your ideas with friends or in classes. You might not feel confident to speak up with your own accent, or you might fear of being judged if you say something “not clever” in the class. I know, being an international student is not easy. People sometimes don’t remember your name but your nationality. You might be afraid that they would refer you as “that Thai girl who always complains about Thai education.”
The good news is that, yes, they might remember you like that! (Sorry to let you down.) But, they will be thankful for your contribution. I used to share something I thought very stupid in a class, but a classmate then thanked me for sharing because what I shared was very eye-opening to her and it opened up a meaningful discussion. What happens in your country might be a very useful case study for the class. So, speak up. Share it. And if anyone stereotypes you because of what you say, just ignore them. They are not worth your attention.
Another reason why you should be aware of the fear of being judged is that it would keep you from asking for help. Studying in grad school can be stressful and challenging for everyone, including home students too. Don’t be afraid that your lecturer, personal tutor, supervisor or your classmates will think you’re stupid if you ask something. First, your classmates might also doubt the same thing. Second, the lecturers used to be like you when they were younger. Third, they are willing to help you even it seems to be a little thing. One time I was struggling to follow a class discussion because my native classmates were speaking very fast. I decided to ask a lecturer to tell them to speak more slowly. Of course, I was thrilled to ask, but he even asked me back if he spoke too fast so that he could adjust his pace. You know, I didn’t expect that he would care, and I was afraid that he and my classmates would think I was not clever enough. However, the lecturer told my classmates and they were keen to help. If the fear of being judged kept me from asking for help, I would not know that my classmates were very kind and caring to help me and other international students to learn.
So, speak up, seek help, don’t be afraid of being judged!
2. Fear of missing out
You have paid a lot to study here, so you may want to make the best use of it. You may want to study, make new friends, go travelling, apply for an internship and do everything at the same time. You might be afraid of missing some opportunities if you want to stay home or if you choose to study instead of going out. Juggling many responsibilities can be overwhelming or exhausting or even stressful if things do not go as well as you expected.
My advice, if I may, is to set priorities. We have to admit that not everyone can put effort into everything equally and get equally good results in return. There are few people who can do that. But we just need to be realistic. You need to prioritise what is the most important thing, the second and the third (and there can be more) and you’ll be able to know when to say yes or no to any activities.
For example, my first priority was to do whatever to get a job after graduation and the second was to maintain good mental health. Yes, I’m not kidding! I’m from a country where the sun shines so bright every day and look at the weather in London! I was aware that I could get depressed easily and if I have the right energy I can complete the first priority too. I didn’t exactly set how many per cent of my time would be spent on each priority, but I have a list in my mind of what can fulfil the two priorities. For me, getting the lecturer job requires academic skills and good grades. So, the activities that I prioritised were, of course, study, getting an internship, attending academic conferences and seminars. For maintaining my mental health, I find building quality and meaningful relationships very important to my mental health. So, I would say yes to any activities that help me build that kind of relationships and say no to some of the activities that wouldn’t help me to do so.
Some people who are good at time management might think that it’s easy to work hard and play harder, but for a person who’s bad at time management like me, having the priorities in mind helps a lot. Your priorities might be different from mine. You will need self-reflection to identify what is important to you.
3. Fear of failure
People tend to think that successful people always achieved, but that is one side of their stories. When Tania introduced me that I got my dream job right after graduation, you might imagine that I should be a very high-performing student. The truth is, I failed a module. Yes, literally failed. I was so devastated as it was the first time I ever failed. I was even afraid that I wouldn’t be able to graduate this year. But a friend told me that successful people are not those who never failed. It’s the resilience that makes them come back, learn from the failure and finally achieve. So, I stopped crying and reached out to the module coordinator and relevant staff for advice and they were so helpful. (Thank you Tania and Lauren.) Then I learned that the cause of the failure is my time management, not because I’m too thick-headed or not good enough. It did not ruin my self-confidence or self-esteem. I’m still confident to select challenging topics in writing the following essays, including my dissertation. I was assured to apply for an internship and I made it. At the same time, I was aware that the only thing that could screw everything is poor time management.
So, failure should not be regarded as a foe, but a friend. It helps you realise what can be your limitation and allows the opportunity for you to fix it. So, embrace the fear of failure but don’t let it keep you from doing something challenging. Step out of your comfort zone and push your limit!
Lastly, being an international student learning in a different culture, you might encounter insecurities and self-doubt. But trust me, you are selected to be here for some reasons and you deserve to be here. You might not need to trust me but trust in yourself. Don’t be afraid. Speak up, seek help, prioritise things and embrace challenges!
