Tips on Mindfulness from a Millennial
Millennials are not known for being particularly spiritual. We’re more likely to spend our money on frivolities like rent, food, and the occasional dinner and drinks with friends as opposed to a week-long meditation retreat. We statistically have higher rates of anxiety and depression than previous generations. We put off major life events due to crippling debt, most of it education-related. We’re tired, lonely, and desperate for sustainable happiness.
We also, however, prioritize work-life balance and our mental health, so hope is not lost. We’re grasping for any opportunity to be better people in terms of our communities, relationships, careers, and personal acceptance. But how do we do it? Millennials aren’t joining religious organizations, and not a lot of us can afford to take months off of work to go on a spiritual awakening (see “crippling debt” previously mentioned). Even getting into a daily meditation routine can be a struggle.
My own millennial difficulties with anxiety, depression, and addiction had me looking to the self-help aisle. Medication helped, but it wasn’t giving me a sense of attaining anything greater than normal. I wanted to combine it with ancient and modern teachings on becoming a well-rounded, successful person.
What I found was, limiting. Most books were written either by spiritual leaders who eschewed worldly possessions and lifestyles to find enlightenment or members of previous generations that didn’t seem to have the same socioeconomic landscape. And I am a privileged white woman, so that is saying a lot. I found a few gems that put me in the right direction, but nothing that seemed repeatable or sustainable.
Over the years I’ve managed to bring a lot of practices together to become a reasonably happy person. I’ve been sober for over three years, I’ve reduced my medication (with doctor supervision), and I’ve managed to find prosperity both personally and professionally.
I am in no way a guru, nor do I pretend to have answers to all or any of life’s great mysteries. I’m just a millennial that has attained some peace and comfort in mindfulness, which leading meditation app Headspace defines as a “quality of being present and fully engaged with whatever we’re doing at the moment — free from distraction or judgment, and aware of our thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them.” While mindfulness is most often associated with a type of mediation, it can be practiced throughout your daily life. For example:
Pause and recognize positive personal growth in the moment.
Maybe you used to be plagued by social anxiety, but now find yourself able to ask for assistance in a store or get a waiter’s attention without bringing on heart palpitations. Or you’re a young professional who just successfully ran their first meeting. Or you increased your longest run by half a mile. These may not feel like milestones at first, but take the time to realize the progress you’ve already made and give yourself some much due credit. Don’t put off self-praise until you have achieved something big; pat yourself on the back every time you take a step in the right direction.
Acknowledge your emotions, even the bad ones.
Having both anxiety and depression can be a nightmare, yet the two seem to go hand in hand. You get depressed so you mentally check out of life, but then you get anxious because you aren’t getting anything done, which then makes you more depressed for not contributing in some way. It’s a never-ending spiral. Unless you stop for a moment and allow yourself to just be depressed. Take an afternoon, a night, a day, whatever you need, and just feel. Tell yourself you are going to cry and be unhappy for a set amount of time and don’t let yourself feel guilty for it. Sometimes rejecting your emotions only makes them that much more powerful.
The same goes for positive emotions like excitement and happiness. Don’t think about what you will feel five minutes from now, just enjoy the moment until it is over, not trying to prolong it or memorize it for the future. Take the time to notice how you’re feeling, then move on.
Accept your past for helping you become the person you are and use the present to go even further.
We all have memories of times when we were less than. I certainly recall cringe-worthy nights of bad drunken behavior and unnecessary fights with people I love. I used to think about these events and be overcome with guilt, regret, and sadness. But then I remember that if I hadn’t gone through that I never would have made the decision to stop drinking or take on a more positive worldview.
No one is perfect, which in turn means no millennial has a perfect childhood or early to mid-adulthood. But it all led you to who you are now. And even if that isn’t where you want to be, you have time every day to take small steps toward your goal. It’s over-said and underappreciated: you can’t change the past or see the future. So focus on what you can do right now and leave out all the rest.
Mindfulness can be a cure for the millennial condition. It can help us recognize what we have managed to accomplish, give us the permission we need to be emotional, and allow us to not only come to terms with our past but accept it as a road to our future.
You don’t need to meditate every day or go to a yoga workshop or attend a spiritual retreat. You don’t need to overhaul your lifestyle or find a guru. You can be more mindful every day, every moment, on your own. And you can start right now by just taking a deep breath, accepting everything you were, are, and want to become, and exhale. No secrets, no mantras, no teachers. Just you.
