Tony Hsieh Might Be Alive Today If It Weren’t For The Stigma Around Mental Illness Among Asian-Americans.
By the age of 46, Tony Hsieh had achieved everything a stereotypical Asian-American parent desires for their child: he graduated from Harvard with a degree in computer science, he was the CEO of a multi-billion-dollar online company, he had many friends, and he was seen as a guardian angel by struggling companies during the pandemic that took the world over in 2020.
However, his untimely death on November 27-due to injuries sustained in a house fire- revealed that Hsieh also suffered from something else afflicting many Asian-Americans: an untreated mental health illness. Hsieh’s mantra was delivering “happiness” and bringing people and communities together. In that vein, and possibly as a smokescreen to avoid the growing concerns about his mental health, Hsieh moved from Las Vegas to Park City, Utah in the beginning of 2020 to focus on his health and wellness. But once in Park City, his health and wellness slowly deteriorated. When the Covid-19 pandemic made public gatherings and parties in Las Vegas unavailable, Hsieh moved the parties to Park City. He bought nine properties, amassed dozens of hangers-on, and “went out of his way to support local businesses in Park City amid the pandemic, buying out entire restaurant patios for his group. Hsieh spent big money on Covid rapid tests to keep the party going.”
What Hsieh had done in Park City was create a utopia of escapism. His hangers-on moved there ostensibly to “work” for Hsieh, but, from all accounts, took advantage of his wealth and generosity. Hsieh’s drinking and drug use had spiraled out of control in the months leading up to his death, so much so that multiple friends had reached out to authorities because they were concerned for his safety. In June, a friend called 9–1–1 to report that Hsieh was “smashing things and hurting himself.” Fearing for Hsieh’s safety, another friend called 9–1–1 in August to report that Hsieh was very paranoid and abusing nitrous oxide. After the August incident, contact was made with Hsieh’s family who insisted that everything was under control. Three months later, while visiting family for Thanksgiving, Hsieh “either became trapped in the basement during a fire or barricaded himself inside and would not answer the door.” He died nine days later.
In a cruel twist of inevitability, Hsieh died at the hands of fire. He was fascinated by fire. During the many parties at his Park City residence, he would often sit by the fire, alone, and toss candles into the flame. But while fire was the means by which Hsieh died, what actually killed him was an untreated mental health illness; namely, addiction and depression. Why were his obvious signs of addiction and depression not treated properly? Well, one of the main reasons was because Tony Hsieh was Asian-American.
Mental Health America states that “Asian-Americans are the least likely racial group to take actions on their mental health.” Asian-Americans are three times less likely than white Americans to seek mental health services. Asian-American college students are more likely than white students to have thought about and attempted suicide. Unsurprisingly, binge drinking and drug use-two things Hsieh struggled with-are more frequent among Asian-Americans with untreated mental health issues.
There are a few reasons why Asian-Americans seek mental health services at such infrequent rates. First, the Model Minority Myth places immense pressure on Asian-American adults to meet societal, cultural, and familial expectations of success. Second, because many first-generation Asian–Americans, like my parents, experienced trauma in immigrating from conflict-zones, their children often feel shame and guilt in sharing mental health struggles. And lastly, many older Asian-Americans deny or neglect mental health issues, explain symptoms in physical terms rather than physiological ones, and rely on social networks, like churches, when confronted with mental health issues rather than seeking professional help.
More specifically, among the six major Asian-American populations (Vietnamese, Filipino, South Asian, Chinese, Japanese, and Korean), Vietnamese-Americans are the least likely to seek mental health services. It took me almost 40 years of my own life before I sought mental health services. My father passed away one week before my son was born. And with the help of my wife, we decided when our son was born to seek as much help as we needed to break generational traumas. It took me 40 years to accept that I am an addict. It took me 40 years to confront childhood trauma that had informed so much of my behavior previously. It took me 40 years to accept that I could not change certain family members but could only understand why they are the way they are. And I did that by seeking therapy and developing tools to understand my own mental health.
It’s time to lift the stigma around therapy and mental health services among Asian-Americans, especially during Covid when social isolation has exacerbated mental health issues among many people. It does not make you look weak to seek help. It makes you look honest. We can’t bring Tony Hsieh back, but we can learn from his experience. Be well, my friends.
If you or someone you know is feeling especially bad or suicidal, get help right away. You can call 1–800–273-TALK (8255) to reach a 24-hour crisis center or dial 911 for immediate assistance.
