Understanding Avoidance in Relationships
The heat rolls in and quiets us. We move in slow motion. The regulars at the park are all up earlier than usual to exercise themselves and their dogs before the sun climbs up above the trees and becomes unbearable.
We stop along the edge of the creek and watch a giant gray heron one morning as she darts her prehistoric-looking neck into the water and pulls out a fish, then flies off, casting a shadow as big as a jet plane.
The dogs are too mesmerized to bark.
Everything is planned around the sun and the fact that our air conditioning is broken at the house. What can we eat that we don’t need to cook? Peanut butter on crackers and grapes. I make iced tea in the morning and drink it all day long until my hands are shaky. We grill veggie burgers and zucchini on the back patio.
All of the doors are constantly left open, like gossiping girls who can’t help themselves. The borderline between in and out blurs and the house seems to double in size. The backyard is just another room we spill into. The sweetness and the challenges of summer are all we think about. Soon the dark red cherries will be here and the fresh ears of corn from the local farm.
A client and I talk about avoidance. The conversation lingers in my mind long after our session ends.
