Use Words Carefully With Children — Parenting Guide

Whatever you say, or do with the children, it is recorded and they decide once rules are formed in their minds

Afzal Badshah, PhD
Age of Awareness
4 min readJan 12, 2023


Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Words have great power. It can create gaps of hatred and can fill the existing ones. It all depends on how the speaker uses these words. You have probably heard that some regions' dialects have unique sweetness. They speak in your language, but their words are sweeter. They are really polite. This accent must have been passed down to them from their elders.

Once I had a trainer who was extremely sensitive about the whiteboard. She used to say; to use the whiteboard very carefully. Make certain that every word you write is correct. If you, as an educator, transfer one wrong word to the whiteboard, the same mistake is passed down through the generations. The same happens with parents. If they use the wrong words, it is inevitable that the children will take it seriously, believe what the parents say and pass it on to the next generations.

When I was a school student, there were only a few teachers in the school. In the high section, the same teacher used to handle two classes. There were no possibilities of teaching the entire curriculum. Trigonometry was taught in the last few days for examination purposes. Where did the miscommunication come from, I heard seta in place of theta and took it down. Later, when I went to college, everyone else read theta, but I read Seta. At this age, children retain everything, making it harder to adjust their words and attitudes later.

Photo by Liana Mikah on Unsplash

While I was writing these memories, my son was playing with me. I get a call and I end with the words “Okay fine”. For the next several minutes my son, who is not even two years old, keeps repeating. Okay fine…. Okay fine…. Okay fine…. Okay fine….

What inappropriate words does your child use, and where did he learn them?

Whatever you say, do, or cry with the child, it is all recorded in the child’s mind. A vast database is now being updated. It could be correct or incorrect. There are no rules in the child’s head at this time. However, as this child grows older. In his mind, rules begin to form, and he chooses who was good for him, who is worthy of his love, and who deserves his hatred.

Often there are problems at home and they discuss them in front of their Often there are problems at home and they discuss them in front of their children. Husband and wife argue in front of their children and insult each other. All this is very dangerous. Although we are bad, we should stop this evil somewhere and should not transfer this bad behaviour and words to future generations. My heart feels that if there are issues between two people somewhere in the market or even on the street and they want to talk to each other strongly but suddenly they see an unknown child in front of them. Both keep silent with the thought that this is our problem and we should not transfer this to our generation. If one generation of ours lives with this promise, the generations to come will find paradise here.

Photo by Robert Collins on Unsplash

As a parent, you wish your child to say Good by when you leave the house in the morning and greet you when you return in the evening. May they hug you, give you love and wash away your exhaustion from the day and the toxic environment of the office. For this, it is important that you also use the same language with the child. Speak the one-sided language of love to him when he cannot speak. When he will start speaking, he will return the same sweets to you.

Let’s Practice it

Analyze the words your child uses. You will notice that these are the same words that are repeatedly used in front of them.

Read more about parenting skills

Parenting and Schooling-A Comprehensive Guide​

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Afzal Badshah, PhD
Age of Awareness

Dr Afzal Badshah focuses on academic skills, pedagogy (teaching skills) and life skills.