How do you raise a child with laser focus?
A Parent’s Practical Guide to Help your child stay on track and beat Procrastination from early childhood.
Raising a child with a laser focus is daunting for every parent in this digital world. There is a plethora of distractions around your child that constantly compete for their attention.
Children often start learning in their homes, with parents as their initial teachers. To ensure a child’s success in the future, parents need to develop habits and direct their child’s attention from the beginning.
Parents encounter one notable adversary in raising a focused child: Procrastination, a familiar foe to us all, including children.
Why is it crucial for a parent to deal with it?
According to a recent study, Procrastination starts in early childhood and worsens with age.
Children may not always recognize when they are trapped in the procrastination trap. As a parent, it falls on you to shield your child from the grip of Procrastination and train their focus.
What is Procrastination? Why do we all Procrastinate?
Procrastination happens when two parts of our brain, the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex, disagree. Usually, the limbic system wins in this battle.
The limbic system concerns our emotional responses and the behaviors we need to survive. The prefrontal cortex executes functions like focusing, planning, attention flexibility, and coordinating.
In short, you choose a less crucial task over one that needs your attention immediately.
Explaining the limbic system and prefrontal cortex to children, specifically from primary school or below, isn’t probably the best idea.
Here is a 5 step strategy to make it fun yet creative.
0. Encourage them to make a to-do list
It’s a simple but effective way to help them concentrate on what needs to get done or what they’d like to accomplish. Whether it’s homework, chores, or even planning a fun activity, jotting it down gives them a sense of ownership and the responsibility to see it through. Give it a try, and watch their focus soar!
1. Speak Their Language
Try a different approach when you catch your child opting for a video game instead of hitting the books for an upcoming test. Let them in on a fun activity — let’s call it the Monkey and Elephant Adventure.
Here’s the narrative: Picture a forest where a mischievous monkey just wants to have fun and avoid work. On the flip side, there’s a wise elephant that diligently plans and tackles tasks head-on. Both characters share the same forest and some valuable life lessons.
2. Set Rules
Encourage your child to award points to the monkey when they opt for instant pleasure, like watching Ben 10 beyond their allocated screen time, instead of tackling chores like cleaning their room. On the flip side, give a point to the Elephant when they complete tasks according to their plan.
For added commitment, consider participating in this point system alongside your child. It adds a layer of accountability, ensuring they approach the activity with a genuine focus.
3. Reward them
Tally up the points. If the Elephant has more points, reward your child with something they genuinely enjoy — a treat that doesn’t interfere with your overall plan. This reward becomes a powerful positive reinforcement.
Kids are like clay, more adaptable than adults. Over time, this activity shapes a behavior pattern where they naturally complete essential tasks without pushing them off to “tomorrow or some other time.”
The benefits of this exercise are
- Planning and setting priorities become a seamless part of their routine.
- They develop new ideas for every situation to implement the plan, which, in turn, sets their creativity.
We first make our habits, and then our habits make us — John Dryden.
This simple habit of not postponing can cause a lot of difference in your child’s Self-Esteem as they grow.
4. Be a Role Model
Babies are born with a natural ability to Imitate. From a very young age, they imitate their parents and become a part of the brain’s development.
Your child needs help to devise a solution for every situation around Procrastination.
There can be moments when your child cannot decide what is more important — a school play or a football match.
Engage in problem-solving together in such cases. What can be a better way to realize the needs and wants of your child than communicating?
All days are not the same. For instance, when your child has a tough day at school and chooses to binge-watch television, neglecting everything else, it is your responsibility to make them understand that behavior can change feelings.
Talk to them. Share a similar experience of yours.
Show them how to take positive action in an uncalled situation.
Children learn more from what you are than what you teach — W.E.B. Dubois.
5. Keep a track
While tallying the points, take a closer look at the tasks your child finds challenging to kick-start.
What type of tasks are they choosing to procrastinate? Is it only academics or something else?
What kind of substitution are they instead? What is stimulating them to choose?
What kind of excuses are they making to avoid a chore?
For example, it can be as simple as taking the dog for a walk when math homework sheets are pending to solve.
It reveals a lot about your child’s behavior and responses to specific triggers.
After all, training the brain is a matter of practice.
Bonus Byproducts
Avoiding Procrastination also yields noteworthy byproducts,
- An enhanced Emotional Intelligence.
- Cultivation of Delayed Gratification.
As they transition into adulthood, the power of choice becomes their valuable ability. They would consciously opt for long-term satisfaction over immediate pleasures.
Self-discipline, willpower, and a sense of discipline naturally blossom in your child as they navigate tasks without succumbing to Procrastination.
According to a research article in Frontiers in Psychology,
“Children’s tendency to delay gratification has been linked to long-term positive outcomes, including higher intelligence, social responsibility and social competence, and improved academic performance.”
In summary, here is the 5 step strategy to boost your child’s focus:
- Encourage a To-Do List: Empower your child to concentrate on tasks.
- Monkey and Elephant Activity: Introduce a playful narrative to make focusing fun and engaging.
- Point System Motivation: Implement a point system to reinforce positive behaviors and task completion.
- Problem-Solving Together: Guide your child through decision-making, fostering effective communication.
- Observational Insights: Analyze the tasks your child struggles to start, unveiling behavioral patterns and stimuli.
Conclusion:
Today’s small steps are the building blocks for a future where your child confidently faces challenges, stays disciplined, and dreams big.
Tune into their behavioral patterns. By understanding how they approach tasks, we can guide them away from the procrastination trap before it becomes a habit loop. After all, molding the groundwork for positive habits starts early in the parenting journey.
