We Should Teach Our Kids to Be Rebels
Breaking the rules is a forgotten skill that should be taught by every parent
“You should have respect for authority”.
A repetitive phrase we all heard growing up. We learn the importance of hierarchical structures from a very young age and accept them without question. We follow the rules given by bad teachers, disturbed family members, and incompetent bosses.
Compliance has a clear purpose: maintain social order. Societies are macro-families, they need clear boundaries to maintain stability and evade chaos. Still, there are real benefits to non-conformity. We often ignore them, but they do exist.
Here they are.
Being a rebel promotes inner-change
Defiance can be a powerful tool for self-improvement. It induces conflict, and conflict induces change. If you always respect and agree with the people above you, you will never change. You will never understand how unique you are. You will only repeat — like an echo chamber — the thoughts you’ve heard within your family growing up.
That’s why, in well-written stories, conflict transforms the main characters. That’s also why adolescence sparks a rebellion phase. Teens rebel against older people to create space for their new personas. If you want to have a unique voice in the world, sometimes you need to silence all the words you’ve heard in the past.
Defiance promotes creativity
Apple launched a campaign in 1997, with the slogan “Think Different”. In one of the TV ads, we can hear Richard Dreyfuss saying “Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers”. It became one of the most iconic commercials of all time.
This commercial explained how important divergent thinking is if we want to create something new. Creativity is about leaving old ideas and concepts behind so that new ones can emerge. In a way, creativity is born from defiance. Respecting the status quo creates nothing new.
Einstein changed physics by refusing to accept Newton’s laws about the physical world. Darwin also refused to accept that life forms couldn’t transform into other species. Picasso changed painting by experimenting with different concepts and refusing to follow well-established rules. So, if you want to truly innovate, you need to question authority.
Disrespecting authority can save the world
Stanislav Petrov, also known as “The man who saved the world”, was a Lieutenant Coronel in the Soviet Military who refused to follow the protocol given to him and prevented World War III. He was in charge when an alarm set off, triggered by a nuclear attack from the United States. Petrov thought it was a computer mistake and that retaliation would kill millions of innocent people. He was right. It was a computer error. By defying orders, he saved humanity from nuclear war.
Rosa Parks is also another example of change by refusing to comply. She didn’t accept racial segregation and refused to give her seat on a bus. This sparked the Civil Rights Movement who brought profound changes in the United States.
Sometimes you don’t have another choice but to disrespect authority. Grave injustices require rebellion, not compliance. These are just two examples, but not following unjust commands can trigger profound social changes.
Final thoughts
Do these benefits mean that we should encourage every act of defiance in children? No, of course not. Children still need to follow rules, their survival depends on it. But what it means is that we have an opportunity to teach them an important skill they can use, with caution, in adulthood.
Another vital aspect of this is that children who are given a safe space to practice rebellion learn to do it respectfully. They learn that we can express disagreement without violence or anti-social behaviors.
And finally, do we want to raise obedient robots or creative humans? I think the answer is obvious: we want to raise creative children who can change the world for the better.
