Why You Can’t Think Your Way Into Self-Acceptance
By Jamie Varon
A lot of us have this false belief that we can think our ways into self-acceptance and self-love, like we can scavenge around ourselves for the errant pieces of our past that are causing all our current strife. Sure, we can heal and look back into the memories of who we used to be in order to make sense of who we are now. This is important work — to become self-aware enough to understand the ways our mind plays tricks on our heart.
Yet, changing beliefs about ourselves requires a degree of initial delusion. We have to believe we are something different than what our mind is telling us we are. In order to accept ourselves, we must override the part of our brain (and ego) that’s telling us we are unacceptable. In order to believe in our greatness, we must override the part of us that believes so adamantly in our inadequacy.
However, in order to override, we can’t use rationalizations. We can’t think our way into this swapping of beliefs. If we do, we’ll think our way into deeper and deeper holes. Shame, rejection, hate, these are inherited behaviors from a world that is in pain. We are born into a world full of every reason to be ashamed of ourselves. Too many of our most powerful institutions will sell us shame like it’s in our best interest to think so small of ourselves.
