An Ode to My White Girl Tumblr Tattoo
The summer after I turned 18, I got the following quote tattooed on the right side of my rib cage:
In the midst of winter
I find there is within me
An invincible summer
It was an ode to the previous spring when I’d spent several weeks (or was it months?) in my room, overcome with paralyzing existential anxiety.
During this period, I hibernated under my duvet, unable to bring myself to get up, get dressed, or take even the smallest step in any direction. Even the prospect of choosing an outfit to wear out into the world was completely overwhelming. On several occasions, I pulled all my clothes off their respective hangers and tried them on one by one. But when nothing fit quite right, I give up and retreated back to my bed, exhausted, leaving a mountain of limp garments in the middle of my floor.
Despite my inability to complete even simple tasks of daily living, I was strangely hopeful. I remember thinking to myself that surely, this would pass. That one day the paralysis would lift and I would return to the world a brighter and more impervious version of myself. All I had to do was wait.
And sure enough, that’s exactly what happened.
