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Exploring the Hard, Hilarious, Joy, and Pain of Loss
Wisdom I’ve gleaned from the new ‘Till Death We Did Part’ podcast
2020. Chaotic, tumultuous, and, in many ways, the hardest year I’ve experienced. (At times, it feels like the 2020s are a movie franchise, though — 2025 already seems like the bookend film for this crazy era.) As the COVID pandemic reached U.S. shores, a rocket of loss exploded in my life. By March, I’d attended three funerals of friends whose lights extinguished when they shined the brightest, and loss seemed to settle in as my constant companion.
By the end of the 2020 “Shutdown Summer,” I’d lost two more friends, two of my Aunts, and finally, the unexpected loss of my little brother, Matt, sucked the wind from my sails. The sea of life felt barely navigable for some time. I was adrift and didn’t always know how to find my way back to shore.
I used to think I was emotionally intelligent and could easily wade through those waters. My faith gave me a foundation of clarity and peace, but I couldn’t remind myself of this as I raged against the machine of life. I understood that pain and loss are universal experiences that will strike us all at some point. But when my waves of grief rose, I kept getting knocked down with only a second to catch my breath.
