Gathering the Branches of My Family Tree

Making contact with my biological family has been a struggle — but slowly, it’s paying off

Courtesy of the author — created by Denise Butler, the author’s mother, age 6

We are a species obsessed with moments.

It’s built-in, really. We perceive our own lives as a narrative threaded around a series of touchstone moments — some bestowed upon us by nature, others being artifices of culture. We add our own ritual and spectacle to these moments that we might infuse the memories of those moments even deeper.

Our favorite moments are always the most emotional ones. For all the talk about the “complex” storytelling we’re supposed to like, what actually appeals to the human in us are moments that are simple but resonant. You know the kind: The star-crossed lovers who overcome all odds in service of a deeper bond. The man coping with the death of a friend dearer to him than a brother. The subjugated soul finally standing up to his oppressor, risking everything for a shot at a better future.

The long-lost family members reunited after ages apart. That’s a personal favorite.

Keeping those moments simple also spares us from having to think about the messiness surrounding them. We get so caught up in that reunion that we don’t think about what led up to it or what happens next.