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RELATIONSHIPS
I Finally Understand Why I Can’t Stop Dreaming About My Ex
I think I’m finally ready for him
A few months ago, it stopped haunting me — The images: Images of him, images of them, of him and her. Images of the first time I learned what a panic attack is.
It’s been four years and I’m still running away. I’ve been running away from him like my life depends on it.
“Don’t play too close to the sun, the old fable goes. “Don’t play too close to the sun unless you’re ready to burn.”
I didn’t want to burn. I was always too attached to my skin, so I avoided him like a raging plague.
Two months ago, I dreamt about him.
“It’s nothing special,” I told myself. “We’re not friends. Not really. I don’t have to reach out to him”
Except, I dreamt about him the following day. And the day after that. And the day after that. These dreams went on consistently for a week.
He was in my home. I dreamt about him coming to visit me and I can’t forget how happy I was to see him.
