I Have Mixed Feelings About My Nose Job
It’s racial. It’s gendered. It’s complicated.
I had plastic surgery when I was 21. Having turned 40 this summer, this means I’ve had my “new” nose for nearly half my life thus far. In fact, I’ve had this nose longer than I ever had the old one, given that noses only reach their adult size and shape in adolescence. Yet even two decades and thousands of dollars later…
I still feel conflicted about my nose.
My surgeon isn’t the issue. He was great. Yes, I still have a few nose-related insecurities, even post-op, but when you consider that even celebrities — famous for their beauty — cycle through multiple noses themselves, I guess it’s not so unusual to harbor dissatisfactions after a rhinoplasty, no matter how nice the result. The more I reflect on my post-op nose, though, the more I realize that the details I still dislike about it reflect the very same Eurocentric beauty biases that made me feel inadequate enough to go under the knife years ago in the first place.
Those biases are also why I feel conflicted about ever having had this surgery at all.
So here’s my story.
I was 6 or so the first time I remember disliking my nose. One afternoon at school, I simply noticed I could see my nasal bridge while staring straight…
