If We Only Have Nice Things to Say About Our Parents, Did They Really Do Their Job?

How and why I think the parent-child dynamic needs to change

Source: Author / Team photo from Little League Baseball / I’m in the lower left-hand corner of the image / My Dad is back row on the right

We must do a better job of learning from the parent-child dynamic.

In its current form, we handle it with kid gloves. Ultimately, this sugarcoating misses the point of parenting and can render what we learn from our parents somewhat shallow, if not toxic.

I think it’s because my Dad just hit 90, I’m on the brink of 50, and my daughter recently turned 21 that I’m thinking about this stuff — obsessing over it, actually — in recent weeks.

Stuff being how we view not only the jobs our parents did with us but how we assess their place in life as relatively old people. And how — if applicable — our kids do likewise with us. All in the name of trying to make sense of doing the business and navigating the emotions of life.

As I go through these mental gymnastics, I write about them. And — if you write, you know — readers can often take what you say, particularly when it is or sounds critical, and generalize it. Oh my goodness, you said you don’t want to end up like your parents; what a terrible son!

As if questioning their choices — even if they have little or nothing to do with you —…