WRITING CAN BE MURDER

Is Colombo Ready for a Love Story

Is it time for love or murder

Art by Author

During my lengthy hiatus from Medium, I have been trying to teach myself how to write mysteries. It’s murder. Did I honestly believe I could transform myself from a funny girl into an unassuming amateur detective overnight?

Yonkers! I was bonkers.

I’ve put in the hours. I’ve read dozens of mysteries, studied Master Classes with James Patterson and David Baldacci. I’ve watched endless mystery movies and shows.

I’ve fantasized about killing everyone.

I’ve imagined everyone I know as a murderer. I cultivated every household object into a weapon. It was a full-time job.

Within five minutes of talking to anyone, I could imagine why someone might kill them and how. Not only for bad reasons either. Sometimes people were too beautiful, too witty, and too successful. They had to go! Now, how could I kill them with a serving spoon and not get caught?

Other times, people were greedy, douchy, or unnecessarily flirtatious with other people’s people. And sometimes, their dog, Yoyo, was mindbendingly adorable, and they wouldn’t let me have him. So wah! Murder with a Kong ball, then toss it in the lake.