Learning to Get Angry Again

Letting go of rage was not a good decision

Natasha Ray
Age of Empathy

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Photo by Niranjan _ Photographs on Unsplash

I remember watching her expression change, her raised eyebrows relax and her eyes fill with tears. My sister looked at me with bewilderment, trying to keep her stand in our argument without getting affected by my mean comments that she had just heard.

I realised in that moment, the pain that my words could cause people, words that were carelessly spewed out in the heat of the moment. Being responsible for someone’s tears felt horrible, enough for me to resolve to never let it happen again.

Never, even if someone might be yelling at me, hurting me. I’d be patient, I’d be calm, I’d be empathetic. I’d listen to them, respond with kindness and logic, and wouldn’t let emotion get the best of me.

And I succeeded. I trained myself to gulp down my rage and exasperation and to always respond with the voice of reason. I started leaving conversations with satisfaction, pride even, about not having lost my cool. I have thus spent years of my life managing conflicts and smoothing out tensions in my relationships.

I can proudly claim that I never, ever, get angry!

But I have to admit that there’s another side to this decision, that I’m only now beginning to notice:

  • Arguments with me might…

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