Phenomenology Guilt

Is the pursuit of a fully realized life a ticket to disappointment?

Photo by Heather Green on Unsplash

There is an existential tension between the mediocrity of day-to-day living and knowing that our lives could reach a state of exaltation we feel in our finest moments. The tyranny of place dictates the opportunities for self-realization in front of us. The rigours of maintaining our hierarchy of needs can exact sufficient energy to make our aspirations a distant if unachievable ideal. If you are a worker spending thirty percent of your income on housing, you know what I speak of.

I have often marveled at friends I have who have found genuine joy in how their lives unfolded where they were. They married someone they dated in their youth. They found work, were educated locally, and simply found ways to love the life they lived as it presented itself. While I admire them for their ability to be happy where they are, I also recognize I don’t share this commonality as it relates to where I am geographically.

I also can’t help but wonder whether to live in an aspirational world is also to court disappointment. I cannot Disneyify my life because there remain major pieces missing if only by my standards. The geography of dreams would indicate that, as a creative, I should be in a creative center like Hollywood, New York, Motown, or Nashville. The promise…