Real-Life Mantras Every Perfectionist Should Try
When only “Om” is not enough
I know the deal. As a perfectionist, you spend most of your time doing everything correctly. You try to be as productive as you can. You may even skip social events or leisure activities to have everything done on time. Maybe you procrastinate once every couple of weeks, but not without chastising yourself later.
Are you also continually thinking about your unfinished duties, upcoming tasks, and deadlines? Are you overthinking a task so much that you can’t do it properly? Or maybe you can’t do anything at all?
I feel you, my friend, and I want to help. In this post, you will find some of the mantras I use every time I feel overwhelmed with my perfectionism.
A mantra is not only that weird sound yogis keep repeating during meditation. A mantra can be any statement repeatedly said to focus your mind. Or should I say, to escape from your mind? Either way, I hope they can take a little of the burden off your shoulders.
Are you so overwhelmed with that particular task that you are incapable of doing anything else?
You spend a night out, watch a movie with your beloved one, or video chat with your friends (pandemic feelings), and there you are, thinking about that unfinished thing again. “Live the moment” is what everybody says, but it’s not as simple as it sounds.
I have serious problems with being (truly) present. I often sit to watch series with my husband, and he asks, “Where are you”? My body is there, but my mind can’t stop thinking about my work and the unfinished tasks.
This has also affected more intimate aspects of our relationship. As I knew I would not free my mind when going to bed, I chose to work longer hours and sleep later. It turned out that I barely saw my husband, and when I did, I was too tired to give our relationship the attention it deserved. That is when I created the first mantra that changed my perfectionism life.
Use Sophie’s Mantra number 1
I did or have been doing everything, under my power, to finish this task.
Remember how hard you worked and convince yourself you did everything under your power to complete this task (or part of it) during that day/week/month.
We, perfectionists, are used to confusing leisure time with procrastination. How can you tell the difference? Start by setting up daily tasks/goals for yourself. By the end of the day, you will see the list of things you did, and that will give you the certainty you need to see you have been productive.
When I ease my mind by knowing I worked as hard as possible, I finally understand how worthy I am of a relaxing or pleasuring time.
Had a busy day, feeling super tired, but the minute you lay your head on the pillow, thoughts start popping up: “What could I have done differently? What should I do next? Is this going to work? And if it doesn’t? Oh no, it’s 3:00 a.m.!”.
Just like a living nightmare, your thoughts can keep you up all night. The result? You won’t sleep well or nearly as much as you should, and by the time you get to be productive, your mind will be too sleepy to do a good job.
Been there, done that (countless times). My body told me it was time to go to bed, but my mind wanted to run a marathon. At some point, I considered starting to take pills to have a better sleep. But when would I stop taking them? Based on my busy routine, never. I didn’t want to depend on medicines forever, so I came up with the next mantra.
Sophie’s Mantra number 2
Right now, I can’t do anything about it
Think with me. Even if you could get up and go back to your task in the middle of the night, you would be mentally exhausted and probably have to redo the work the next day.
Every time I have insomnia, I repeat this mantra over and over again. It is a reminder of how much I deserve a good night of sleep. I talk to myself and come to my senses: there’s nothing I can do right now. Tomorrow is a new day for putting my thoughts together, analyzing them, planning, and getting lots done!
Most of the time, for a perfectionist, making a mistake, forgetting something important, or going through a misunderstanding feels like the end of the world. Even if you do 99 things right, that one tiny flaw (huge in your mind) haunts your entire day. Don’t let it.
I judge myself all the time. Every time I sit in silence, I start to rewind my day and count my mistakes. I bit myself up, and my confidence levels drop to zero, convincing myself I can never do anything right.
It all starts with my personal life. It is often about a word that came out wrong or a comment I made that sounded unnecessary. Sometimes I seek forgiveness, and the other person doesn’t even know what I am talking about. I feel stupid and restart the cycle of criticizing myself a little more.
At work, it is even more challenging. It is rare, but when I forget to respond to an e-mail or receive a friendly reminder about a task I did not do, I can not forgive myself. Even though my mistake was small, I remember it for weeks.
I had to stop torturing myself, so I created a mantra that helped me humanize my mistakes and faults.
Sophies’ Mantra number 3
I can’t control everything; I am a human being
That being said, if another one of your peers (also non-robotic subjects) made the same mistake you did, would you be so hard on her/him? Or would you say, “that is ok,” “it is not a big deal,” or “just try again”?
The Golden Rule is “treating others as you want to be treated.”
But I dare to say that as perfectionists, we should change the rule to “treat yourself the way you treat others.” What I mean is: Give yourself a break and be kind to yourself just like you are with other people. If you can forgive your friends’ and colleagues’ mistakes, you should be able to do the same with yours’.
Every time I notice I am hard on myself, repeating this mantra makes me realize that I am not perfect, just like nobody is. I embrace the flaws and small mistakes I might make; after all, I am a human being.
Repetition is the Key
Scientists say mantras can physically benefit you, reducing heart rate and blood pressure, oxygenating the brain, preparing your body to fight different diseases, and others.
It is also essential to focus on your intent. Think about how you would like to feel and what you would like to let go of during these overwhelmed moments. Do not judge yourself. Just concentrate on the good things that will result from repeating the mantras I taught you.
This repetition will create calm brainwave activity and build a shield against outside mental disturbance. Keep all negative thoughts away and open some space for a happy mind. Be the perfectionist you are and master this technique to live a better life.
