The Daily Mental Gymnastics of a Texas High School Teacher
Questions I ask myself on days ending with “y”
- Do I have any coffee creamer?
- What percentage of parents are actually reading to their kids daily?
- Why doesn’t Congress pass laws to restrict social media’s influence on teens and kids?
- How many parents monitor their own screen time?
- How many kids are carrying guns on campus?
- Did I reply to that student’s email about missing work?
- Is there a lockdown drill today? Or is it a fire drill?
- Who was in the fight this morning?
- Why won’t my students get off their phones?
- How much sleep are my students getting each night?
- Is this week’s grade check a gain or a lose eligibility week?
- When is state testing this year?
- Was that noise a gun shot or a desk falling?
- Is there a sub in Ms. So & So’s class?
- How much screen time are parents allowing their children?
- Which kids are high off vape pens?
- Is someone dealing THC gummies?
- Why do we need more guns than people in this country?
- Why don’t they pay teachers more?
- What will happen when there are no more teachers?
- How can we teach without all the books and stories?
- Why aren’t more people helping as BIPOC and LGBTQ+ voices and history are under attack?
- Who will defend teachers?
- Why is society willing to sacrifice teachers?
- Why are we still following the agricultural calendar for school?
- How will we compete globally only going to school 180 days a year?
- Why can’t public education at college level be free too?
- Who has access to Advanced/Honors/AP classes?
- Will society ever address the disproportionate amount of teachers of color to white teachers as a result of Brown vs. Board of Education?
- Why are teachers expected to be human shields?
Three and a half weeks ago, a student was arrested on campus at the end of the school day for being in possession of a gun. The gun was not discharged. We were notified via email later in the evening as a staff and informed there would be extra police presence the next day and access to counselors for both teachers and students. Similar information was emailed to parents of students as well.
However well-intentioned those decisions were, the overwhelming presence of police officers intensified students’ apprehension. Many students chose not to come to school the following day because of the police presence; it scared them.
As for the chance to speak to a counselor who works within the same school system about the trauma experienced by the school system due to flaws within the institution? No thank you. That is not an actual solution to the glaring problem that is only increasing across the country.
I understand it is helpful for some, but it’s not a solution. We cannot just shrug and be grateful this time the weapon was not used. Talking about our feelings won’t stop the next weapon from being brought onto campus. There is nothing preventing the next student from bringing it and using it. This is not normal.
The problem is the guns. It’s the overwhelming access to guns.
The night before the student was arrested, I had a vivid nightmare of an active shooter on campus. Let me clarify, I do not dream about work. In my 11+ years of teaching, I have never dreamt of an active shooter; however, it has always been a fear of mine, and it always will be.
Recently, the Department of Justice (DOJ) released their report on its Critical Incident Review of the Response to the Mass Shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas. The heart-wrenching attack occurred at the end of the school year when a former student unleashed terror and violence on the students, teachers, and the community, killing 19 children and two teachers and injuring 17 others.
I will never forget watching with absolute horror and confusion at the scene as it slowly played out on my TV screen on May 24, 2022. Between the live media coverage and social media videos, it was abundantly clear to me and others that the police needed to enter and eliminate the threat.
Active shooter protocol requires immediate entry to the source.
Yet, they did nothing. Officials held back parents attempting to enter for their own children. No one knew what was happening. The chaos and pain amplified for over an hour.
Officers of varying jurisdictions failed in the most epic manner, cowering in the hallway and outside the building for 77 minutes while students, teachers, and family members panicked, bled, died, cried, and attempted to survive. One little girl actually used her small hands to spread the blood of a classmate onto her body to disguise herself as dead. Others called 911.
The DOJ took action by investigating and calling out those accountable. But that is not a solution. There must be action taken to protect students and teachers. Federal action. A ban on assault weapons. Close loopholes. Stop gun shows. Red flag laws. Mental health solutions. Background checks.
The notion that a student is able to be on campus for an entire day with a gun is not shocking in 2024; however, it should be. This is not normal. Guns are the leading cause of death for children in America.
The number of individuals injured or killed in school shootings is more than double the amount of casualties in 1999. The rate drops in 2020 due to the global pandemic causing schools to close and switching to remote classes. Since society has re-opened its doors post-COVID, school shootings are back on a sharp incline. This is not normal.
As a public school teacher of 11+ years, I am here to sound the alarm. If you aren’t paying attention, then now is the time to start.
We cannot continue to operate like the gun violence, active shooter drills, and addiction to social media are not poisoning the minds of our youth and threatening the sanity of educators across the country. How can students be expected to learn under these conditions? Teachers alone cannot solve this.
We are participating in the preservation of a trauma-filled environment by enabling guns to control every aspect of our lives through the myth that they are a human right when they are not. This is not normal.
The founding fathers approved the right to bear arms in 1791, when the flintlock musket allowed one shot at a time and could be shot at most 5 rounds per minute. Today, weapons like the Rikhter R-23 shoots 2,500 rounds per minute.
One bullet is all it takes to destroy countless lives. Yet nothing is being done as a nation to prevent the next mass shooting.
This time, my campus was lucky. Next time, I can’t say with any level of certainty that we will be. I hope. But I don’t see any metal detectors being installed, so hope is all I have to hold onto.
The night after the student was arrested, I recorded a voice memo for my husband. I cried telling him how much I love him and everything I want for his life if I am killed at work. This is not normal.
I’m asking everybody who isn’t a teacher to take action and actively care about our schools more. Protect educators and students. Demand gun laws and restrictions. Elect representatives that do not cower to the NRA.
Ask yourself if you are okay with unnecessary losses of life? Because inaction is complacency. Ignorance is complacency.
At the very least, reach out to an educator you know and offer support. Although we put on a smile, we are drowning. Or I know I am. And the teachers I know are, too.
Remember when everybody had to try to teach their own kids, and teachers were praised for being saints while chants for raises rang throughout social media platforms? Not anymore. Now, we are often framed as the villain.
What scares me is that people are increasingly acting out their feelings through violence toward teachers.
I get it; everybody needs someone to blame.
However, this one isn’t on teachers.
The problem is the guns.
Thank you for reading my work.
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