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The Loss of a Special Doll When You’re “Too Old” To Play With Toys
Was she gone forever and was I allowed to care?
My favorite doll from childhood was called “Pumpkin.” She had bright red yarn hair with wild bangs, puffy ponytails, open-and-shut blue eyes, a tan complexion, and squeezable extremities.
The scent of pumpkin was her natural perfume, and she resembled the fruit. Obviously, Pumpkin was the best name for a darling like her, so Pumpkin she was!
Although there were plenty of other dolls I enjoyed — she stood out.
I sniffed her often to experience that pumpkin essence and touched her plump cheeks to feel her smooth skin. Like tactile ASMR, the makeup, and the type of doll Pumpkin was enticed and calmed my senses.
She smiled that eternal smile and her pretty blue eyes appeared to focus on me.
Could an inanimate object have awareness? Develop a sense of how special they are in the eyes of another? A subtle consciousness dependent on the love and care the treasured object received.
I agree it is unusual to think of a doll having that ability. Perhaps somehow, love and intentional focus create in ways we can’t always perceive.
