The Principle of the Second Arrow Has Always Helped Me to Calm Down

I hope it can be helpful to you, too

Have you ever heard of the Buddhist Principle of the Second Arrow?

It is very simple to explain and to understand. The basics of it are this: When we suffer any kind of injury, whether it is physical or psychological, that injury is the first arrow. An arrow pierces our skin and hurts us.

The first arrow is never within our control. We are the passive recipients of its trajectory. And that is the crucial distinction between it and the second arrow.

The second arrow is our response to the first arrow. If, as a reaction to your injury from the first arrow, you have a temper tantrum, you beat yourself up for your action, you initiate an argument with a loved one, you seek an act of revenge on somebody who has wronged you, or you calm yourself down as a means of coping with your situation — regardless of your response — you are now the one who is in charge!

You are not the passive recipient when it comes to your second arrow. You are in the active role of creating your response to the original injury. And that is the difference between the first and second arrows.

My most recent experience with the first and second arrows

Earlier this year, when I knew that I would be traveling on two separate trips to Europe for weddings (first trip to Italy in May, second trip to Spain and France in…