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The Ups and Downs of Marriage
Twenty-six years is a really long time after all
My mom had Alzheimer’s, and as I watched her decline, I watched my stepdad grow as a caregiver to meet her needs. We did not always agree on the amount and kind of care she needed, as I was on the conservative side, rushing to say she should not drive and that she needed 24/7 supervision, while he was more laid back.
He cared for the house, sorted her medications, and managed the finances, all of which she used to do for him. Then, as she worsened physically, he bathed her, changed her, and fed her, often while being physically assaulted.
I started to hold him up as the ideal of what a husband should be. He set a very high bar.
Yesterday was my husband and my 26th wedding anniversary. We were college sweethearts and friends before we started dating. When I moved away for graduate school, he moved with me. He proposed on the bedroom floor of our crappy first apartment, surrounded by laundry because we both worked too much to pick up.
Our wedding was nice but modest. Our flower girl, who was five then, now has two children of her own. It is amazing how quickly time passes. We lived below our means in small, plain apartments until we could save up enough for a down payment on our house, which is also modest but…
