Walking Away From My Marriage Left Me Feeling Unmoored
How I navigated the choppy seas of an uncertain future
A sinking unsettled feeling filled my body the day I walked away from my home and my husband and left my marriage. The autumn day was crisp and bright. The movers were efficient and succinct.
My soon-to-be ex sent me out the door with a bottle of wine stuffed in a gift bag and the words, Be happy. At that moment I was anything but happy.
All I felt was sorrowful pain and the need to escape — to unlink myself from the life I’d built and the relationship I tried unsuccessfully to make look how I wanted it to look. I wanted a deep love. A partnership. Two souls working towards the same goal. Kindness. Compassion. Intimacy.
And as hard as I tried to build those things I couldn’t make them happen. I rowed our relationship boat alone for so long yet all I did was travel around in circles. The only thing I could do at the end was to separate myself from what held me back. That life. That relationship.
We were unmatched puzzle pieces never quite snapping together the way partners should. He held strong unchallengeable opinions and wore a suit of armor around his heart — a barrier I couldn’t penetrate.
