Member-only story
FRIENDSHIP|WRITING|CREATIVE WRITING|MEMOIR|ESSAY
What Happens When a Friendship Turns Sour?
The unspoken difficulties of the bonds we make
They say that you can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends. Up to a certain extent, this age-old aphorism is true.
I chose S (I’m using only the initial of his name to protect his identity).
S and I met after I finished uni. We had a lot in common. Music, books, and a sense of humour. We vibed off each other. That’s why it took me a long time to register how poisonous our friendship was becoming.
What I first noticed was his comments. Couched in the same facetious tone we both were used to, they masked criticisms. Conversations often turned to him and his problems, leaving mine by the wayside. On the occasions when I managed to switch the attention back to me and my issues, I felt undermined.
Nowadays, we have a name for this person: a toxic friend. But, back in 90s Havana, we didn’t have the privilege of self-improvement, that trendy, new spirit that in this age leads us to work on a better version of ourselves. Back then, we were in the middle of an economic crisis, which meant that sticking together was preferable to being on our own, with the world collapsing around us.
