When Blood Is Not Thicker Than Water
My relationship with my sister is complicated and I have no clue how to fix it.
My sister came into town last week for a visit. I only saw her once. And the one time I saw her was enough to trigger me.
We aren’t close. We never were. All our lives, people have remarked about how we’re polar opposites. My sister is outgoing, loud, and gregarious. Growing up, I was shy, retiring, awkward, and quiet. My sister also behaves in a way that many people would consider “street” or “hood.” She also uses more African American Vernacular English (AAVE) than me.
In short, I have never been the loud, aggressive, neck-rolling stereotypical Black girl that others expected me to be. But my sister was and is. As children, she had an easier time connecting with peers than I did. Because of my shy, quiet demeanor, a lot of kids had no idea what to make of me because I didn’t fit the stereotype of what a Black girl “should” be like. I was “too Black” for a lot of white kids. However, some Black kids thought I was snotty or tried to be white.
I could never win. So, throughout childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood, I felt alienated from people because I didn’t feel I belonged anywhere. I’m by no means suggesting that my sister was accepted by everyone. She wasn’t…