When You Have to Face Your Ten Minutes in Your Life — Don’t Run
You have everything you need and they’ll make you free
Do you remember the last time you had to face one of your biggest fears?
It was a rainy day in September when I stepped on that train and allowed it to take me right into this big city far from home. I was alone in the busy, unknown streets while I searched for the hotel where I was going to stay the night. It was just me and my thoughts that night while I tried to sleep — and failed. The next morning, I was surrounded by people dressed to impress while I ate breakfast and tried not to vomit. I felt lonely and asked myself how I got into this. And if there was any way to escape.
So basically, it was just me, myself, and I, getting closer to the moment I had to conquer myself. The moment I had to face my biggest challenge thus far.
It’s not enough to say I was nervous. I remember the anxiety climbing up my arms, the weakness in my legs. I remember thinking of all the things, that could go wrong. I remember how big this thing felt. And how it felt impossible to survive those ten minutes, to meet the expectations asked of me.
Looking back, I still think if my boss would have called me to say it’s alright if I don’t present the results of our work at the conference, I would have taken a train back home. Right after breakfast.
But it wasn’t an option. And I’m grateful for being forced to challenge myself and to do what I absolutely dislike: public speaking.
It’s funny but the worst part wasn’t those ten minutes in which I had to stand in front of the audience. The worst part of it all was the days and weeks right before it. I didn’t feel ready or capable of doing this, without even knowing why and what made me so afraid. It felt like something no human ever did. And I guess I tried to figure the moment, the challenge out before it even appeared. I tortured myself by trying to solve a problem that wasn’t even there.
And I guess this is something that happens to all of us because we all have those ten minutes in different capacities. We all have to make decisions, we’re all facing challenges that scare the hell out of us. And we tend to stress about what could go wrong, before anything can go wrong.
So how do we find the courage to face these ten minutes, that will reoccur in our lives, in all colors and shapes? How do we handle the situations that challenge us and force us to make decisions?
Maybe it all starts with a different mindset.
Those ten minutes can stand for anything. Public speaking, an examination, a difficult decision, a tough conversation with a loved one, knocking doors to get a business running. But in whatever capacities those ten minutes challenge us, it’s nothing that no human ever did before. It is the next logical step. One of those steps we did so many of already. We tend not to see how far we already came. We tend not to see that we already have everything needed of us in those ten minutes. That we accumulated everything in the past needed of us now. We laid the foundation, acquired the necessary skills.
We said yes to a multitude of challenges, to which we could have said no, we had long nights and early mornings. Right now, we are living a life, that we once dreamed about in the past. And so those damn ten minutes are not about the future. It is about everything we already are and about breathing life into it. That is what we should have in mind.
After all, when my ten minutes occurred, there was nothing asked of me that I couldn’t give. I made it because after all those years, I was ready for it. The ten minutes that scared me so much were in hindsight much easier than the two days before.
So, I’m glad I was forced to do it and to realize that we tend to create monsters in our minds that aren’t real. But I do wonder, how often do we run from challenges, decisions, or tough moments, if we aren’t forced to rise up to the challenge? As I said, if I hadn’t been forced to do it, I don’t know if I’d have done it. It takes courage to take the hard way, the less travelled road. But I guess, this is the difference between a truly free life and a life, where demons and anxiety control our decisions.
As Nelson Mandela said: “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”
It’s not easy to make decisions that alter our lives. It’s not fun to do what scares us the most, to challenge us. But it’s what we need to do if we want to live a life without ghosts and regrets. After all, the question that will definitely torture us the most when we’re laying on our deathbed is: What if?
So don’t let your mind trick you. It’s just ten minutes. You got this.
