Member-only story
Where Does Racism Start? More Importantly, How Do We Stop It?
Exercise the power you have in your own backyard
We were walking to a restaurant in the city where my son lives, when a BMW hopped the curb in front of us and a man of color jumped out and grabbed me. I was shocked, but noticed my son laughing, just as I was picked up in a bear hug and heard, “MRS. STRAV!! HOW’VE YOU BEEN?”
Realizing he knew me, I giggled, although I could barely breathe. I had tears running down my face when he finally put me down. Tears of joy.
“BRIAN ARON!” (although that is not his real name) I yelled back once I was on my feet, thinking straight.
We caught up in 2 minutes, before he said, “I have to move my car, but let’s get together!” and took off.
I flashed back to the moment when we first met some 15 years prior.
A Bumpy Start
My sons, Stephen and David, were in elementary school when they came home and reported they were being picked on by Brian and his brother T.J.
“I don’t like him,” Stephen reported.
“Really? Why is that?” I asked.
“He’s a troublemaker,” Stephen announced.
“He keeps kicking my book-bag when we are waiting for the doors to open,” David whined about Brian.
Brian and T.J. were the only children of color in my sons’ classes at a small Christian school.
“There’s only one thing to do,” I announced, “we will have them over for a playdate.”
“WHAT?! No way!” the boys were appalled, “We don’t want to play with them!”
They were also intrigued. I was not given to hosting playdates. My theory was you have siblings; play with them and learn to get along with those built-in playmates before you try it outside your home.
I picked up the school directory and dialed the Aron house, getting Claudia, their mom on the phone. She was friendly, but hesitant. She did not know me and was unsure about dropping her sons off at a stranger’s house. Could she join us? I suggested.
The playdate was enjoyable for all. The boys played and we snacked and chatted…
