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Why Secrets Are Safer in Therapy
In other relationships, confidentiality is much more confusing
As a clinical psychologist, I was sometimes so overwhelmed by the sheer number of secrets I was holding at one time that when a friend or family member approached me with information they wanted me to keep to myself, I almost blurted out, “Sorry, I gave at the office.”
Psychotherapy is rooted in the exclusive sharing of information between therapist and patient. It’s a one-way arrangement where the protection of privacy belongs to the patient. Only through trust can the patient feel safe and free.
By confiding memories, emotions, behaviors and fantasies, patients can let go of the fear and shame that interferes with the openness that will allow them to make sense of things that have sabotaged their wellbeing.
The therapist’s office is a Privacy Zone, in which it is clear from the start that confidentiality is guaranteed. There are a few exceptions, like the “duty to warn,” (known as “Tarasoff”), when a patient expresses a threat of violence against someone, and the therapist has to take steps to safeguard the targeted person.
Learning how to keep secrets
As a young therapist, much of what people confided in me was totally outside of my…
