I Dream I Am At The Ghat Of The Only World — An Overview
This summary was originally published on the author’s personal medium blog
“A night of ghazals comes to an end. The singer
departs through her chosen mirror, her one diamond
cut on her countless necks….”
I Dream I Am At The Ghat Of The Only World
When I first read this poem I couldn’t understand it. As happens with Shahid’s poems unless you are not fully acquainted with the time and background in which the poem was written you’ll not be able to comprehend the lines. Another thing to be noted about this specific poem is that Amitav Ghosh’s tribute to Shahid is also titled the same. I read it few times but it all bounced over. The more I read about Shahid, the more this poem began to make sense. If I’d to sum up this poem, all I can say is that this poem is an autobiography of Shahid written in rhythm. It’s also a pretty lengthy poem spanning around 5 pages.
The poem is taken from his book — “Rooms Are Never Finished”. In this essay I won’t be writing its summary or talking of it’s artistic or literary value. Neither I will be be going deep into the devices this poem uses. I love this poem. I’ll just write about the impression I got from this poem.
It’s a mini biography of Shahid’s life. He’s addressed this poem to all his close people — poets, family, friends, lovers and inanimate close relationships as well. It seems as if Shahid wanted to empty his heart out in those few pages. I love it how he makes transitions between continents, between people, and of course- love. He’s touched upon everything; religion, spirituality, Kashmir, love, family, Begum Akhter and his guide — James.
This poem can be imagined as a journey — a journey he takes to bury his mother.
The poem starts with the signature Shahid style- a mix of east and west tone.
“A night of ghazals comes to an end. The singer
departs through her chosen mirror, her one diamond
cut on her countless necks….”
Here, he talks about Begum Akhter. “Her one diamond cut…” Shahid in his other poem also referred to this diamond necklace. It points to Begum Akhtar. In the first stanza itself he talks of her death (night of ghazals comes to an end). It’s said that Shahid had cried for days after Begum Akhtar’s death. Shahid would always go numb and astronomically sad at the mention of Begum Akhter, he’d been very close to her. Her death affected Shahid a lot. A major portion of his collection is dedicated to Begum Akhter. Her ghazals had influenced his poetry a lot.
Then he goes on to talk about Eqbal. It’s worthy to note here that Eqbal Ahmad was a famous political scientist who was known for his anti-war activism including speaking for Palestinian rights. It reaffirms Shahid’s stance towards War, of how much he opposed it and strived for peace all his life.
“by which mirror Eqbal, in his undertone, still plots to end all human pain? When my mother died, he had wept so far away in Pakistan..”
He then writes about Merrill.
“before his untimely death, James Merrill requested that a copy of A SCATTERING OF SALTS, now his last book, to be sent to you with compliments”
The tone here is of longing, he misses James. He waited for him. He clutches the book like a baby in his arms, he doesn’t want to lose any sign of James.
Then comes the most intimate part of the poem — his description of Kashmir and the lingering conflict.
The children’s laughter fills the waves. “Gula, keeper of our decades”
“I know you now”. You’ve kept me waiting. In the shades
of islands they await letters their living have sent,
they whom (restless by the shrines) nothing persuades
of their own death…
He’s written about gula (a random Kashmiri most likely an oarsman) and his exile.
“you’ve kept me waiting……await letters”.
He’s trying to contact home, through the letters he’s sending through Jhelum. But he can’t, there’s no way he can send letters to The Country Without A Post Office. Then he points to the conflict- “the times are tyrannical”, for next two pages he’s written about this only. The communication blockade, the deaths, and his exile.
“Will the authorities allow the gates to open?” The times are tyrannical and death is punctual.
Next few stanzas are extremely hard to read. Apart from the frequent dream-like transition he has drawn a desolated image of his homeland — burnt chinars, bulbuls blurred left without a song.
“what one could prophesy in their shade is now lost to elegies in a shrine”
In his dreamscape, as he steps off the boat he finds himself in Amherst. His mother on her death bed.
People kept telling Shahid — your smile keeps her alive. It’s all dreamy, when Eqbal comes and embraces Shahid. Shahid misses her. He loves her way too much, making every effort to keep her alive. But everyone is a voyager here and Shahid himself says — “love doesn’t help anyone finally survive”.
“love doesn’t help anyone finally survive”.
Next stanza is very magical. He tells Gula about a magic- a magic which could lead them to places where their missed ones are. He wants Gula to row him on his shikara to that place. He is rowed to that place, but without his mother there, it’s all lonely and desolate.
“I am in a beautiful place, but to exist here is so lonely”.
Interestingly, towards the end of the stanzas which talk of this dreamlike experience he tells Gula that on his shikara journey — each oar you hit makes me pure. I feel untouched. Maybe, he’s talking of his experience in different lands and how his life changed with each passing day. He says — “I am slave of the Prophet”. He is making a journey towards a shrine where the grave of a saint lies. He’s there to pay his respects. He’s carrying jasmine and candles. In the shrine too, he’s reminded of the lingering conflict which goes on to say it’d become a part of him.
“only the wind — since when? — has lived here, in one awed
fright of boots, of soldiers. Now the cry of gazelle –
it breaks the heart into the final episode”
“she ties round my wrist (I’m on my knees) the saint’s thread:
“may this keep you safe from the flames of hell”
This transition is what makes the poem one of the hardest poems I’ve ever read. This sudden jump to spirituality is confusing to say the least. The part of the poem which occupies all these stanzas are also worth pondering over, These are the last stanzas of the poem — and like every mortal being, after one has lost hope we finally turn to God or any equivalent spirituality. This is very much prominent here. He prays for his mother to return.
“If steps bring her back from the river…”
He wishes for Eqbal to return so that he could continue writing about freedom. He’s among the devotees at the shrine when he cries out. He cries out for his mother.
“Mother, will I lose you again, and in this,
the only world left?..”
His frequent dive into spirituality is quite ironical though. Other than his poems on Karbala, Shahid had always come out as non religious. I think, in my opinion, in his final days he might have made peace with God, you know often in old age or when someone is close to death they try to find God I think the same case would’ve spelled out here. The fear of afterlife when you’ll be judged for your sins and deeds and that judgment will decide your life — a never ending life. Or it could be the case that the death of his mother prompted him to turn to God. In such situations — your only hope seems to be God.
“weep, for this is farewell,
To be rowed forever is the last afterlife”
I think he’s asking for mercy as is evident from this verse — “I cry out by the shrine door “I am no infidel
but on my knees on shore the believer in the rain-
This is farewell I have rowed you this is farewell”
He then buries his mother. She’s not going to return.
In all this emotional and heartbreaking journey — there’s Merill who always was his support. As Merill tells him-
“which world will bring her back, or will he who wears his heart on his sleeve eavesdrop always, in his inmost depths, on a cruel harbinger?”
SHAHID, HUSH. THIS IS ME, JAMES. THE LOVED ONE ALWAYS LEAVES
SHAHID, HUSH. THIS IS ME, JAMES. THE LOVED ONE ALWAYS LEAVES
