Build your capacity for resilience while in turbulent times by finding effective ways to psychologically ground yourself (Photo by Firdouss Ross on Unsplash)

Everyone is a Leader: Four ways to ground yourself in times of uncertainty

We always talk about the VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) world and now it’s really here. The tension is palpable: Being concerned about our health, working virtually from home, juggling multiple roles at once (being a full-time parent, teacher and employee) and dealing with feelings of social isolation. All the while grappling with the question: When will life go back to “normal”? Will it ever go back to “normal”?

But life does (and should) continue. Following on from the thoughts we’ve laid out in a recent article, we believe that leadership is for everyone — we believe that it all starts by leading yourself, especially in these turbulent times.

If we think of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, we’re pretty much hitting “bingo” on challenging all of our most fundamental needs. Red and yellow flashing news channels talking of pandemics and death counts provoke our survival instincts. A crashing stock market and business being forced to close down threaten our individual financial stability. Social distancing and the closing of international borders suddenly make us feel rather alone. No wonder it’s difficult to concentrate.

In times of uncertainty, it is easy to focus all your attention on the lowest levels of consciousness — but what if we were able to shift our focus and operate from a high level of consciousness? What opportunities could emerge for a better future for all of us? (Credit: Barrett Values Centre)

Besides boosting your general well-being, the choice to lead yourself (and others) in these turbulent times will also enable you to zoom out of survival mode to see the bigger picture. What opportunities could emerge through the disruption, if we were able to step back and see them? What if the “new normal” could be even better than the “old normal”? We believe that by finding ways to ground ourselves, we will have a better fighting chance to turn this “upset” into a “setup” for something much, much better.

Here are four ways to get started:

#1 — Find grounding in your purpose and values.

Being thrown off your normal schedule and the feeling of having little control over your own future is scary for most people. Reminding yourself of your purpose, or at least exploring what it could be, helps you to figure out how to spend your time in a way that is meaningful to you.

With the luxury of freedom comes a whole plethora of things that you could be spending your time on: the 20 books to read, the 12 work projects to get involved in, spending quality time with family and friends, exercising more… the list goes on. Then take into consideration that in these uncertain times, we are neurologically programmed to be disturbed by change and dealing with potential threats to our health, financial stability and relational needs will take time and attention from the list above, whether we like it or not. Having a clear purpose and being driven by your core values will help you to prioritise your time and energy, now more than ever.

You can start discovering your purpose by reflecting on the following questions:
— What am I passionate about?
— What is the difference that I want to make in the world?
— What can I give to the world (that others can’t)?
— In which situations do I get the most energy?
—What do I strongly believe in?

The Japenese concept of “Ikigai” is another tool that can be used to reflect on your purpose. The term means “a reason for being” and covers four overlapping elements: what you love, what the world needs, what you are good at and what you can be paid for.

Japanese concept of “Ikigai”, or “reason for being” (Credit: Ikigai-living.com)

When exploring your purpose, it is important to find a way to connect to your heart (not just your head) — I find that it’s easier to connect to my heart when I speak out loud to a close friend. Try sharing your draft purpose with a trusted friend, see which words feel right and talk with the person about which parts still resonate.

There are a number of ways to start getting to know your core values:

• One option is to take a free “personal values assessment” offered by the Barrett Values Centre. This tool maps your values on levels of consciousness — which adds another dimension to explore if you want to.
• Alternatively, simply go through a list of values online (like this one) and circle the ones that speak to you. If you can’t find the value you feel connected to, just add it. When you’ve identified your core values, rank them and and reflect on how well you are living those values at the moment.

To explore how your purpose and values can help you prioritise your time, grab a piece of paper and a pen:

1. Write down the biggest business and personal challenges that you are currently facing, then identify the most critical challenge that you’d like to solve right now.
2. Make a long list of all the things that you feel you could be spending your time on at the moment.
3. Write your purpose and three top values somewhere on the page.
4. With your most critical challenge, purpose and values in mind, go through and highlight (and rank) the which things that make sense to do.

Working with purpose and values won’t be a “quick-fix”, it’ll take time — but we can’t think of better timing to get started.

#2 — Think about what you can do (not what you can’t do).

“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”
- Dalai Lama XIV

In order words, there is no point worrying about things that you can’t do anything about. This one is all about sphere of control and choosing to focus your attention on the things within it. It seems so obvious but it is a conscious decision to be made.

Research has shown that this shift from seeing yourself as a victim to taking ownership over what is within your control, can be the difference between life and death when it comes to extreme scenarios such as being held hostage. Now, luckily coping with uncertainty will most likely not lead to a “life or death” type of scenario — but we can learn from the shift in mindset.

There is power in what you choose to focus your attention on (Photo by Oliver Roos on Unsplash)

We are based in Denmark, where the most recent implications of COVID-19 have left our physical freedoms ranging from being fully physically isolated in our homes to, at most, a trip to the supermarket (while holding a 2m distance from other shoppers). With “autonomy” being a top core value for the both of us, this physical restriction initially left us feeling a little like a “flies trapped in a glass” (manically flying around in circles and throwing themselves against every wall — metaphorically of course).

What made the difference was a Monday morning brainstorm on the things that we could do to make the most of these extraordinary times. We came up with ideas like a virtual cocktail hour on Fridays to get to know each other’s quarantine partners, using the opportunity to practice mindfulness, deepening emotional connections both within our team and individually with friends, writing articles, reading books, etc. We’ll check-in on this brainstorm on a weekly basis to track what we’ve done and add ideas to the list as they come up.

This brainstorming exercise can be done in combination with the exercise mentioned above and you can do this in many contexts: By yourself, with your work team, housemates or partners. It doesn’t take more than setting aside 15 minutes with a piece of paper in front of you. The result is a reframing from the frustrations imposed on you to seeing opportunities because of the situation you are in.

#3 — Look after yourself.

Living in conditions of uncertainty requires a lot of surplus energy. It can easily become exhausting and we start to live one day to the next. With the infinite game in mind — we “play the game” to keep playing and therefore you need to set yourself up for the long run.

We’re inspired by the Full Engagement model to manage our individual energy and I’ve found that it serves as a nice framework to look through different elements of my life — not least in these times of uncertainty:

• Spiritual wellness: Feeling a sense of meaning in your life. This links back to the first point on “grounding yourself in your purpose and values”.
• Mental wellness: Fueling your ability to focus your mind. In times of uncertainty, as written above, paying attention to what you have control over makes a difference here. Many also find meditation practices useful to help create mental space.
• Emotional wellness: Being aware of your emotions and whether your needs for relational connection are being met. In times of uncertainty, stay close to those you love and trust — share your frustrations, laugh together, cry together, be together (even if it’s over Facetime).
• Physical wellness: Eating well, resting and moving your body to stay energised. Give yourself a break from the back-to-back virtual calls, drink a cold glass of water, slot in a 5 minute stretch or yoga routine, go for a walk, sit outside, have a nutritious snack when you need it or whatever works for you.

We’ve taken these times of uncertainty as an invitation to practice mindfulness and be present in the now (Photo by Jared Rice on Unsplash)

Use the Full Engagement levels to check-in with yourself on a daily basis — give yourself a score out of 4 on each of the levels. We use this check-in on our team’s virtual calls to connect with each other: Share your scores at each level and the team can then ask if there is anything they can do to support you wherever you are on the scale.

#4 — Make a choice in the moment that you are triggered.

As life continues, you will continue to be triggered day-in and day-out on all four of the levels we just talked about: Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. In times of uncertainty and stress, your emotional, fast- thinking brain will take over and provoke a lot of knee-jerk reactions that might not have been the most appropriate response in retrospect (“Thinking fast and slow” — Daniel Kahnemann). In reality, this fast-thinking brain only leaves you with three types of response — fight, flight or freeze. We hope that the three tips above will help give you the grounding to make a choice in that moment between the external trigger and your response.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
- Viktor Frankl

BREATHE — Give yourself the chance to make a choice (Photo by Oliver Roos on Unsplash)

In most cases the space between trigger and your response is so small and unconscious that it doesn’t provide your prefrontal cortex with the time that it takes to really evaluate the situation and choose from different options. What can you do? It sounds so simple — just breathe! Taking a deep breath (count to 10 as you inhale and 10 as you exhale) will activate the parasympathetic nervous system (the one that calms you down, slows your heart rate, etc.) while allowing the message, the trigger, to travel to the slow thinking, more rational, part of your brain.

Only by increasing the time between trigger and response will you be able to lift out of “survival mode” in order to see patterns and opportunities emerging.

From the basics of eating right, to focusing your attention, to connecting to your purpose, we hope that you are finding what works for you when it comes to coping (or even thriving) within the uncertain times we live in.

How do you ground yourself when everything seems to be in motion around you? Any tips and tricks? We’d love to be inspired.

This article was written by Katrina Marshall Dyrting (left) and Susan Salzbrenner (right) as a perspective on how we can navigate toward organizations that are more fit for humans and more fit for the future. Thanks to all who have contributed thoughts, conversations and critiques in the process of putting this piece together.