Insights from Therapy For Better Product Management
Recognizing cognitive distortions, refining values clarification, and practicing the STOPP technique transformed my approach to product management.
One of the truly invaluable facets of therapy, as I’ve come to realize through personal experience, is when my counselor equips me with therapy tools and worksheets to help facilitate self-reflection and integration of new skills. These resources, grounded in solid evidence, not only enrich my arsenal for skillfully navigating interpersonal dynamics, life transitions, and challenging circumstances, but they also extend their wisdom to offer valuable insights into the realm of product management.
Naturally, that perspective eluded me initially; after all, I did not seek out therapy to become better at product management. However, upon revisiting those resources more recently, I’ve come to recognize the immense value in the lessons they imparted in shaping my strategies within the realm of my work. Three concepts have notably risen to the forefront: 1) identifying cognitive distortions, 2) the invaluable process of values clarification, and 3) the application of the STOPP technique.
Recognizing cognitive distortions
Cognitive distortions are thought patterns that cause a person to perceive reality inaccurately, typically in a negative way that does not benefit them. These are usually based on biased perceptions that are subconsciously reinforced over time, eventually becoming the lens through which we automatically view, interpret and distort what is happening around us.
There are two common cognitive distortions I would like to highlight and reflect on how they have shaped my approach toward product management: filtering and all-or-nothing thinking.
Filtering
Filtering involves seeing the world through a negative filter. We all fall victim to this sometimes: Things are going well, but our minds somehow latch on only to the negative aspects of a situation. Or sometimes we tell ourselves things are going too well, and that something bad has to happen soon. We filter out the good and just notice the bad stuff.
This negativity bias has a sneaky way of creeping into the world of product development. When deeply engrossed in working on a product, every flaw becomes glaringly apparent: the seemingly eternal persistence of a single typo that never gets fixed, the counterintuitive back button that makes no UX sense, the relentless accrual of technical debt, or the one feature that does that weird thing when you click on it. Consequently, when your customer-facing team shares some amazing feedback from a user, you remain unconvinced and are unable to perceive the positivity.
It is important to sometimes take a step back from the intricacies of product development to lend a receptive ear to the insights shared by customers/users, despite our inclination to think we know better due to our knowledge of how things work under the hood. Certainly, you and your team might possess a reservoir of technical or design insights that transcends the desires expressly articulated by your customers/users, but if you take no heed of their feedback, then you miss the boat on recognizing the bright spots that may lead to delivering delightful user experiences.
All-or-nothing thinking
All-or-nothing thinking involves looking at things in absolute, black-and-white categories. One instance of an all-or-nothing thought pattern is perfectionism: thinking something has to be done right or not at all.
Engaging in this extreme thinking, particularly in the context of product management, poses a significant risk as it can impede timely decision-making and serve as a major obstacle to the fluidity of the iterative design and development process.
Design iteration involves ideating, prototyping, and finally, testing and evaluating feedback. If perfection is a priority, then we would probably be stuck in the ideation phase, never getting anything out there to be used and evaluated by real users. Especially in fast-moving and innovative markets, perfectionism is not a virtue and is, in fact, counter-productive.
Embracing an iterative approach necessitates a willingness to deploy something as an MVP to collect feedback from users, instead of waiting months to polish a feature or a release (and then risk realizing that a different direction is needed altogether). Early feedback facilitates course-correction and allows you to adjust your product strategy based on actual data.
Whenever I find myself stuck, ensnared by the “what ifs” and hesitations during the ideation phase, I’ve trained myself to pause and introspect. I reflect on whether my current mental dialogue, be it internal or within my team, is fostering productive advancement or if it’s inadvertently ensnaring me in the limiting grip of all-or-nothing thinking.
Values clarification
Values are one’s personal beliefs about what is most important or what matters most to them. In a psychotherapy or counseling setting, values clarification is a therapeutic exercise that helps a client develop a greater awareness of their core beliefs and internal values system, so they can make positive changes in their lives.
How does this relate to product management?
Identifying key drivers of business and customer value is essential for effective product roadmapping and prioritization. Anyone managing a customer feedback funnel or a product backlog are undoubtedly familiar with the deluge of countless feature requests and improvement ideas. It is simply not feasible to incorporate the entirety of this influx into the product without unwittingly ending up with a hybrid creature akin to a camel when what you really want is a horse (no offense to camels).
Incorporating a discussion about the values most important to your business and your customers helps you cut out the noise and focus on the why of what you are building instead of the what. It not only helps build alignment with your team, but it also helps you organize and communicate your roadmap in a way that tells a meaningful story to your stakeholders. A laundry list of features is less compelling than a values-based roadmap.
Values clarification, as an exercise, can also help you reassess ongoing product initiatives to evaluate if they fit into the overall big picture of why you’re building what you’re building. Sometimes, through this exercise, you may realize you have veered off-track, but that is OK. Developing that self-knowledge helps guide you and your team back to what’s most important instead of remaining in a place of disconnect.
The STOPP technique
STOPP is a cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) technique that helps you regulate your emotions and respond more mindfully in difficult situations, instead of reacting impulsively. The key steps are as follows:
- Stop and pause for a moment.
- Take a breath.
- Observe your thoughts. Where is your focus of attention? What are you reacting to?
- Pull back and put in some perspective.
- Practice and proceed with what works.
Each step is explained in more detail on this website.
This technique is key in helping one self-regulate in stressful situations. Sometimes being a product manager can be stressful!
When faced with difficult situations or conflict, the STOPP technique has helped me engage with stakeholders respectfully and empathetically, which leads to better working relationships. Soft skills are a huge part of product management: leading without authority, collaborating effectively with cross-functional teams, and communicating clearly and persuasively. When you engage in a conscious acknowledgement of your emotions and those of your teammates during highly charged moments, the awareness helps guide behavior and discussions appropriately. This can really help enhance those interactions, and lead to more productive outcomes or toward a common goal.
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Viktor Frankl
Has psychotherapy benefited you in your personal or professional life? It sure has for me. We often talk about taking care of our health by eating well, going to the gym, etc., but we don’t talk enough about working on our mental health.
Cultivating a positive attitude towards seeking support for our mental well-being holds the potential to dismantle the stigma surrounding psychological counseling. This transformation paves the way for us to reap profound benefits. When I made the deliberate decision to prioritize my mental health, I gained access to an array of invaluable tools. These not only bolstered my resilience in the face of challenging transitions, but as it turns out, also taught me a thing or two (or three) about product management
This post was also published on www.productschool.com communities.
