THE SEXIEST QUALITY IN THE WORLD
People often ask what’s driving me. What encourages me to work at a level that, at its lowest, makes the hard days of others seem like a walk in the park. That… I won’t say. Or maybe I just haven’t been diagnosed yet. I do have something else to mention however, something itching to get off my chest. And it’s about hard work.
An Altogether Rarer Quality
People often mistake hard work for time. Time, or how much effort you put
in over that time — sometimes one, sometimes the other, often both.
That’s a falsehood though. Hard work can just as easily be something
completely different — energy. That energy can be either positive or negative,
and it is reinforced, both positively and negatively, by something called
responsibility.
Yes, the old fashioned term of responsibility — something which has been
among the hardest for me to find in recruitments in all my companies
throughout my years. A lot harder than intelligence, where there’s always a
certain quota to be found. A lot harder than competence, that’s something you can train and refill if it isn’t there already.
It’s even harder that receptiveness, the very prerequisite for competency and
one of the most important criteria for success in this ever-changing world we
live in. And, yes indeed, even harder to find than curiosity and creativity, the
very things that don’t just let us adapt to this world but also contribute to it,
making it as positively dynamic as it always had the potential of being.
An Element Both Complementary and Compensatory
The word responsibility is in a league of its own, indeed. It’s not just hard to
acquire, it’s hard to find at all. And once you do find it, a truly responsible
person, you’ll see that it doesn’t just complement all of the above mentioned
other qualities, but even compensates for a lot of them. That means that those
who feel responsible for something, but are “objectively” less intelligent or
competent, maybe even less receptive and creative, can actually still
accomplish a lot more than anyone with all of those qualities but lacking in
responsibility.
It’s true grit in its own right. The age old idea of “manifesting destiny” itself. It
just happens. Because you feel responsible, you give yourself agency to do
something about it.
This is how Musk undoubtedly feels about saving the world from global
warming. It’s how my volunteer friends feel about helping refugees. That’s
how Gates feels about exterminating polio. That’s how every aboriginal or
person of nature feels about caring for our planet. But it’s also how most good
people feel about the wellbeing of their friends and family. It’s definitely how
nearly every last parent feels about their kids too, I’m willing to bet. And
maybe, just maybe, how I feel about how badly so many children around the
world have it. When it’s ultimately always about what world we leave behind
us for the next generation, and actually even how digital learning can
contribute as a force for continued development, empowerment and
emancipation.
A Force To Take Us In The Right Direction
So you know what? That sense of agency, born out of responsibility, isn’t just
something beautiful, it’s what makes the world go around. It’s what makes
things move forward. It’s what makes everything go up and up from here.
Any which way that’s right — will be.
“Be proud of yourself. Because that sense of responsibility, no matter to what end, is something that is increasingly rare.”
So, those of you who feel responsible for something, be proud of yourself.
Stand up straight, look out over the landscape of people and humanity at large and remind yourself… you’re one of Them. This massive, unprecedented
collective of interconnected individuals and societies. And this goes
regardless if you only feel responsible for yourself and yourself alone, or if
you feel responsible for your family or the health and happiness of friends,
your company, your employees, your clients and customers, even your future.
No matter what, be proud of yourself. Because that sense of responsibility, no
matter to what end, is something that is increasingly rare, I suspect. And it’s
something genuinely beautiful and what I wouldn’t hesitate to call one of the
most important, if not THE most important, element of happiness and welfare
in the world.
An Energy That Gives You A Push Towards Happiness
And we’re back to the topic of energy. Because if you feel responsible for
something, and everything’s going well, you’ll be feeling better than anyone
on earth. You’re responsible for something and everything’s working out, so
you deliver. And if it’s something ”good” that you’ve felt responsible for, no
matter what it is, the world has become a slightly, slightly better place with you in it, rather than without you.
And suddenly, all the hard effort and work feels lighter than air, regardless if
the effort has been with your loved ones, your friends and your children,
if it’s been volunteer work or if it’s been your job, those 16 hours of work
will feel like it was only two. And that would be two great hours filled with
meaning and coming very close to genuine happiness.
It’s not about how much time or effort you put into something. It’s about
what energy you put into it. And that energy is multiplied tenfold for those
who feel truly responsible.
Responsibility As Something Grown-up And Boring?
Yeah, yeah, all of that may sound good, but isn’t all this talk of
”responsibility” really just a thinly veiled synonym for ”boring”, something
only ”grown-ups” talk about?
It’s exactly the opposite. It’s a force, a violent, primordial force that makes us
accomplish things that others didn’t think was possible. It’s the same
primordial instinct that makes a mother lift the car crushing the child she
feels responsible for. The same force that gives you the passion to do rational
or emotional miracles. And that also gives you the urge to do all of this with love and a great big smile on your face.
To put it simply, it’s the thing that fills your body and soul with passion for
what you want and gives you an unbelievable power and strength to
accomplish anything — i.e. the thing that enables you to truly change the
world.
I wonder if it isn’t even the very thing that truly makes us alive. That alongside
strategic and abstract thought, which truly separates man from beast. The very fundamental difference that Nietzsche spoke of us as the defining traits of a superman, an übermensch, transcending the limitations of our nature to
accomplish God-like feats.
And believe me, it has nothing to do with age. Just as the most curious person
I know is approaching 80, I’ve had 20-year old girls in my employment show
100 times the sense of responsibility than any other “grown-up” employee
I’ve had. Responsibility is a personal trait, an amazing individual talent –whether it’s innate or acquired — that is among the most beautiful qualities a
person can have.
And it’s by far the least boring a person can be as well.
Responsibility As Something Truly Sexy
I’d even be so bold as to say it’s such a decisive factor for the individual’s
personality and for the wellbeing of the world that it’s due time to reinstate
the sex appeal of the word itself.
It’s unbelievably sexy to be responsible!
While most of us have experienced what a turn off it can be with people who
don’t give a damn about anything, always following the path of least
resistance and letting the world around them decay and collapse, letting work go as it may, friends and family feel as they feel. Que sera sera. Inshallah, Laissez faire. Otinanne. Whatever.
To coast through life until you’re 90 years old in your waning hours of your
final resting place, until perhaps you finally realize the world will be exactly
the same as you left it, unchanged and immutable, despite the few brief
moments you had on it (or perhaps even because of). Or even worse, that the
world has actually deteriorated, as you’ve led your life thoroughly
as an unfailing contributor to all the worst consequences of human existence.
Maybe it would’ve been better if you hadn’t lived at all.
That might be the final thought in your head before you die. Permanently.
Real sexy idea, huh? Not.
“The sexiest people I know in the whole world, men and women alike, are the ones that are deeply, deeply responsible.”
What was once the calling card for a generation, the post-modernists and the
slackers, Gen X, Y, “I got mine”, whoever felt disenfranchised or jaded to a
degree where all is water under the bridge, where nothing really matters, is
now clear to me, and hopefully to you all as well, not only the most
meaningless but also the most destructive mentality a person can have.
The sexiest people I know in the whole world, men and women alike, are the
ones that are deeply, deeply responsible (though humor is also a necessary, but not entirely adequate prerequisite, as no one likes someone who takes themselves too seriously — but that’s a discussion for another time).
Don’t get me wrong — to be driven by lust or sloth is something we all feel at
times — but I’m talking about what really defines you as a person. The
responsibility that you hopefully find, I’d say isn’t just among the most
beautiful qualities. but the very sexiest quality one may have as a human
being. That is true power. That is hope. That is the future. That is goodness
itself.
And that is a lot of sex.
An Indescribable Feeling of Happiness and Ecstasy
So when people wonder how I can work such hours, I wonder how anyone
can NOT work such hours.
But again, I’m talking more about the model, the frame of mind, than the time
required. Time is unimportant. Responsibility is what matters. That’s the very
essence of everything you think and feel and do. That is the aphrodisiac that
gives you the energy to push forward, against all resistance. That’s what
makes you alive, that brings both you and the world itself forward and
upward.
The feeling itself is indescribable. And you know the most ridiculous part of
it? It’s only the truly responsible person that will have any chance of feeling
and capitalizing on this emotion. The rest can’t even begin to comprehend it.
These notions of ecstasy and the rush of joy and happiness it brings, become
mere abstract concepts for them. To truly and fully take responsibility for
something and then actually “take the fame and blame for it” as well, is
something they’ll never know.
That brings me to my second point, ”taking the blame”. That’s a different
story altogether. Because if you do feel responsible for something and it
doesn’t work out, turns south on you, then that’ll break you.
Those who haven’t felt responsible for anything couldn’t care less, and just keep jogging on like nothing ever happened. Those who chose that path, the path of least resistance, minimizing risk instead of maximizing opportunity, that choice may in such instances feel like an easy one.
But for those who chose a different path, the path of responsibility and hard
work, they feel lousier than they ever thought possible when after failing.
Not just mentally, but physically. A nausea sets in, in the pit of your stomach,
when something or someone you’ve felt responsible for goes awry.
On a personal level, this may hurt like hell and that’s where ”performance
princesses” and other high-performing and responsible people end up at some
point. But really, I don’t see it as a bad thing. It’s a gift. Something to be
deeply treasured, as a measure of your responsibility, as a measure of being
alive. To be active instead of passive. Don’t be the fallen salmon floating
downstream in the fjords and rivers — be the ones fighting to get back up there, running and jumping against the current. Playing. Living.
I often see these people as an endangered species that the world is in
dire need of. And not just in the sense of cogs in a banal machine of our own
artifice, ”west is losing to the east”, ”company A is doing better than
company B”. But essential warriors in the battle for the spirit, soul and even
body of our planet, under attack from all sides by populism and apathy.
A Force To Grow And Be Proud Of
So again, you who feel responsible, be proud of yourself. Be real goddamn
proud and stand tall. Endure the hardships when they happen, endure feeling
ten times worse than the people around you when things go bad. Then allow
yourself to feel twenty times as great when things go well again. Allow
yourself to enjoy, even feel pride in your accomplishments. Above all, be
proud that you’ve even grown to be the responsible person you are. And that
is something you should grow further still and develop.
So now again, I say thanks. Thank you for existing and let’s all hope there
will be more of you in the future.
And congratulations to being incredibly damn sexy!
